Good Things
by Voyagerfictionfan
Summary: A post Endgame story about a night that Chakotay would rather forget.
1. Chapter 1

**Good Things **

**"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."**

**– Marilyn Monroe**

_Disclaimer - Paramount owns all the characters, I'm just borrowing them…_

(Please read and review if you have the time, feedback is so very helpful)

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**Chapter One - The call**

It was just approaching 0200 hours she saw, as she opened her eyes in response to the persistent chime of the computer. She rolled over, groaned and placed the pillow over her head in an attempt to block out the irritating noise. Since Voyager's return to Earth and her subsequent promotion almost two months ago, former captain; now Vice Admiral Kathryn Janeway had been buried up to what felt like her neck in debriefings and reports. Having only just finished proof reading yet another long missive, this time concerning their dealings with species 8472, she had been asleep for less than an hour.

Being back on Earth still felt surreal, and most mornings she awoke in the bedroom of her San Francisco apartment wondering why she wasn't in her quarters. The disorientation was fleeting, but the reality of living planet-side and not on a Starship was a process of adaptation. The space alone was something that she was still getting used to. The Captain's quarters on Voyager had not been small by any standards, but she had discovered that as a Vice Admiral and designated a returning Starfleet hero, she was entitled to a surprisingly large accommodation allowance. This she had accepted as she had had no idea where she wanted to live immediately after they returned and for the moment, she was still here.

Her new home was a large three bedroom apartment set over two floors. The entrance hall, utility area and cloakroom were on the ground floor. Upstairs was the main living area with an open plan kitchen and lounge and the bedrooms, the third of which she had decided to use as an office. A small corridor from the lounge led to her bedroom and the guest suite and bathrooms. As far as decoration, it was still a blank page, with neutral coloured walls, some hastily replicated furniture and a few of the possessions she had brought over from Voyager. She had taken the following weekend as leave and told herself that she would start to paint and then collect the rest of her things either from storage or her mother's house.

Touring recreations of apartments on the holosuite, she had almost given up hope of finding somewhere. But her heart had risen when she had looked out of the large window in the lounge and seen the park opposite. After so long in space, she had not expected to find an apartment in a large city where she could see anything other than other buildings. The small park with its neatly trimmed grass and lines of trees was nothing like the rolling fields and countryside of her native Indiana, but in quiet moments, she stood on the balcony and looked across at the green space. Watching people walking and children playing and straining her ears to hear the birdsong or the wind simply moving the branches of the trees.

She had forgotten the normal sounds of everyday life, she realised. On Voyager, they had lived with the constant hum of the engines, and the soft background noises made by all the Starfleet technology that surrounded them. Escaping to the holodeck and the occasional shore leave was the only time in seven years that she had heard the sounds of nature and she realised how glad she was to hear them again. She kept her windows open as much as she could, even though she was sure that Tuvok would comment on the potential breech of security when they next spoke.

Located just 10 minutes away from Starfleet headquarters the apartment was also convenient for her daily commute and meant that she was close to her former crew, many of whom had chosen to accept similar accommodation offers, at least temporarily. Seeing them often, made her feel that she was still connected to them and it was helping all of them to come to terms with the changes that returning to Earth had brought. Chakotay had organised weekly social events since they had returned and it had been her privilege to meet the families of those she considered to be her extended family.

It had been harder than she had ever imagined, the final time she had left Voyager. Watching her crew disembark and handing over _her _ship to a team of Starfleet engineers and officers. Grateful to have actually got the ship and her crew home, she had never given much thought to what came next. Almost as soon as Tom Paris had finished the landing, it had seemed as if there was an endless procession of requests for transport aboard. At first it had been the necessary Starfleet brass and she had found herself conducting a make-shift final briefing in the Mess hall, before hastily donning her dress uniform to meet the Admirals. After that, it had been security personnel and specialist counsellors, followed by maintenance and ground staff. They had all been doing their very necessary jobs she told herself, but with each passing day she felt less like the Captain and more like a visitor who had begun to overstay her welcome. Only at night did she feel like the ship was hers again and long after the late shift had finished she walked the corridors for hours trying to commit each bulkhead to memory. The skeleton night crew probably thought she was crazy, but they were too polite to say anything and her rank earned her the privilege of their discretion.

Tom and B'Elanna had moved into an apartment close by and the three of them had begun to bond. They met each week either for a meal or for Kathryn to babysit Miral and after a few weeks they had become good friends, away from the structure of command. Tom had finally got used to calling her Kathryn and she had been thrilled when B'Elanna had asked Kathryn to call her Lana, a name her mother's family had used. Kathryn found herself grateful for their friendship. Having shared experiences on Voyager, she found that she had no need to explain things to them that she spent most of her days explaining to other people. After seven years in command, had begun to try and let her guard down, managing to let go of the Captain a little and to be herself around them. It was a refreshing change and she was surprised by how good it felt.

B'Elanna had surprised them all by deciding to take a six month maternity leave. She told Kathryn that she wanted to spend some time with Miral before deciding whether to go back into space. Even Tom hadn't seen that coming, he'd joked when they'd had dinner a few nights ago. He had taken a temporary assignment, working with a team of Starfleet test pilots and engineers on the design for a new fleet of shuttles. His experience with the Delta Flyer and his natural talent as a pilot making him the ideal candidate.

Chakotay and her were a sore subject that she tried not to think about. She had seen him increasingly infrequently over the last six weeks, even going to the trouble of avoiding him at the dinners and functions that they were both invited to. She'd used the excuse that theirs was a friendship that would wait awhile. There were so many people she needed to reconnect with and they were both in high demand. De-briefings aside, there were constant requests for interviews, references, lectures and charities wanting patronage. It had been a poor excuse and she'd known that. His relationship with Seven had hurt her, she could admit that to herself now. It had felt like a betrayal and with Seven of all people. She had started to analyse her feelings, but had yet to come to a real conclusion. Was it because of her protective feelings towards Seven? Was it his lack of judgement in choosing someone so inexperienced and so much younger than himself? She thought she had known Chakotay and yet this was a profound shock. Maybe that was what had been the worst of it. She had thought that he was an open book to her and now she had to face the fact that he wasn't.

As if that wasn't enough, there was also the realisation that after New Earth she had allowed herself wonder if there might be something more between them once their duty to Voyager was over. But his relationship with Seven had ended that. She could see that he had chosen to move on and she knew that she had to find a way past all of that. She wanted his friendship back. He had been her rock during their years in the Delta Quadrant and she felt as if a piece of her were missing now. The awkwardness between them was painful and it kept her awake some nights.

This however, hadn't been one of those nights and as the chiming started again, she allowed her curiosity to get the better of her. Her now more conscious mind was telling her that whoever it was, might just have a very good reason for calling at this time. Sighing, she sat up and ran her fingers through her hair, before standing and walking over to the console. Grabbing a pale blue pashmina that had been hastily flung on the chair she gathered it round her shoulders.

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"Computer lights to 60 per cent. Identify caller."

The caller is Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres. At this, Kathryn suddenly became much more awake. There was no way B'Elanna would call at this time unless something was wrong.

"Computer accept call, display on bedroom console only."

As soon as B'Elanna's face appeared on the screen, she started to talk.

"Kathryn I'm so sorry to call you at this hour, I know you've been up to your eyes in debriefings this week and you must be exhausted. Tom said we should wait until the morning, but I'm really worried."

"It's okay Lana, what's happened? Is Miral alright?"

"Yes, she's fine Kathryn, I'm sorry. It's Chakotay I'm calling about. He was arrested last night."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two - A brush with the law**

**.**

"Arrested? Lana are you sure? That doesn't sound like Chakotay."

B'Elanna looked away for a second.

"He's not been himself lately Kathryn. I should have said something to you, I just felt awkward. He's been ignoring my calls, running around checking up on the crew, making excuses to avoid seeing Tom and I. He's not been granted a pass to go to Trebus and see his sister until his debriefing is over and I think he's taken it badly. "

"So he's not even seen his family yet?" She felt her heart break for him a little.

Why hadn't he told her? Reached out? A sudden wave of irritation passed over her. He'd have known that she could have pulled some strings, used her influence. And then she realised, she'd been a lousy friend, too caught up with her own family and friends. Avoiding him had become an easy habit and now he was obviously in some sort of trouble. The irritation was quickly replaced with a feeling of guilt.

"Don't blame yourself Lana, it's not your fault. Things have been so strained between us... I should have dealt with it sooner, spoken to him." She sighed. "Do you know what happened?"

"Not really, Tom spoke to the duty sergeant and he wouldn't tell him much. Only that he would be there until tomorrow."

Like hell he would, if she had anything to do with it, she thought. Feeling the adrenaline start to course through her veins, she took a deep breath.

B'Elanna was interrupted by the sounding of a wailing baby. "It's okay Tom I'm coming, hold on a second will you Kathryn?" A second later, Tom's weary face appeared on the screen. He yawned and smiled apologetically.

"Morning Kathryn. I'm sorry we woke you, B'Elanna's been going crazy since that call."

"No, it's okay Tom, she did the right thing. Can you tell me any more?"

"Not really, he's at the downtown station. They are just holding onto him for now, I don't think any charges have been pressed. The sergeant alluded to some kind of set to in a bar, but he wouldn't tell me any more."

Kathryn groaned inwardly and rubbed her hand across her forehead. "Chakotay, what's going on?" she said softly to herself, forgetting Tom was there. After a moment, he cleared his throat.

"Tom, leave this with me. I need to get straight with him and I've a feeling this is partly my fault. I've let this rift between us go on for too long. Tell Lana, I'll go down to the station now."

"Now? His face registered the surprise. "Won't a Starfleet Admiral turning up at a police station in the middle of the night raise a few eyebrows?"

"I'm sure it will. But if you remember Tom, I've never been one to much care what other people think, and I'm certainly not about to let that stop me from helping a friend. I'll Comm you when I know what's going on."

.

Comm link terminated, she strode towards her closet, her mind whirling. Forty-five minutes later, clad in her new style uniform, she was in a hover taxi on her way to the downtown police station. The driver gave her a slightly unusual stare, but she avoided his questions, by immediately taking a PADD from her case and staring intently at it for the rest of the journey. She paid the fare and headed briskly into the large building. At the reception desk, the night clerk looked slightly startled, but her request to see the duty sergeant on what she described as a 'personal matter 'was obliged and she was soon en route to his office. Her new rank certainly had its benefits she thought.

The duty sergeant introduced himself as Sergeant Lindon. He was a stocky man of about forty-five, with neat brown hair and a friendly, if slightly tired face. He was seated behind a desk loaded down with PADDs and Kathryn thought she recognised a kindred spirit in him. She hoped this would help her cause. Smiling as she accepted a seat, she straightened her tunic and inclined her face slightly towards his.

"Good morning Admiral Janeway. I must say, it's a surprise to see you in person at this hour."

She smiled, he had obviously reasoned that Tom would contact her, but presumably thought that she would send a member of her staff.

"Chakotay and I are old friends and it was important for me to come down here in person to see if I could..." She hesitated.

"Straighten out a misunderstanding?" He prompted.

"Yes, if that's what it was." She trod carefully, aware that she was not yet in possession of all the facts.

He smiled at her. "Don't worry Admiral, I didn't think that you were the type to come in here all guns blazing and I respect that you came in person. I'm as keen to resolve this as you are, the Commander certainly doesn't belong in my holding cell. Coffee?"

"I can see you've done your research, black please."

She thanked him as he placed a white mug on the desk in front of her. She noted that the Sergeant had used Chakotay's former rank. Although as an instructor at the Academy, he was technically a civilian for now, she saw this as a mark of the respect that his time and role on Voyager had earned him, and she liked the Sergeant all the more. He continued, "I presume I can talk to you in confidence?"

"Absolutely."

He nodded. "Commander Chakotay was involved in an altercation in a licensed establishment last night. Eye witness accounts don't place him as the aggressor, but it got heated and when the other man took a swing at him and he landed a decent punch which floored him." Kathryn closed her eyes. "The other man involved was checked out by the EMT's at the scene and there's no lasting damage, save for some bruising and wounded pride. The Commander was brought here primarily as a precaution until our investigation was complete. He was alone and having consumed a quantity of alcohol, the officers at the scene couldn't identify anyone to escort him back to his place of residency." She nodded, struggling to picture Chakotay involved in a situation like this. Maybe years ago when she had first met him, but not now. Her heart was heavy and she wondered why he had been drinking alone.

"Do you know how it started?"

"No. Neither party has given a formal statement, but my officers at the scene suspect it ended with comments made about a former Starfleet Captain that Commander Chakotay took offence to."

She couldn't help but purse her lips a little. Perfect she thought, just perfect.

She sipped her coffee thoughtfully before speaking. "This is extremely out of character for the Commander. I know his reputation in the Maquis proceeds him, but he changed over the time that we were on Voyager. He found a way to channel that aggression and to heal those wounds. He was my right hand out there and I've no doubt that we wouldn't have made it home without him. He's... not had the easiest of times since Voyager returned to Earth."

She saw the Sergeant raise his eyebrows slightly, so she continued, "his father and other members of his tribe were killed by a Cardassian attack on their colony. He has a sister, but Starfleet hasn't granted him permission to leave Earth to visit her yet."

"Even with friends in such high places?"

She winced slightly despite herself. "I'm afraid that I haven't been there for Chakotay as I should have been. My time has been in high demand and..."

"Of course, Admiral; I didn't mean to imply..." He looked a little embarrassed.

She waved away his concern. "I know Sergeant, but it's true. I've let things get in the way of our friendship and I made the mistake of believing that he was okay. That's a mistake I'd like to rectify."

He met her eyes and smiled. "I appreciate your candour Admiral. It's not in anyone's best interest for this to go any further. Commander Chakotay was never officially detained, as it were. There was no caution or arrest. The other man involved won't press charges and I've done my best to see that the press won't get hold of the story, although I can't offer a guarantee on that."

She nodded appreciatively. "Thank you Sergeant, I appreciate your discretion."

.

He led her out of his office, the station was quiet, save for a night shift officer who tried a little too hard not to notice her. "He'll be out in five minutes Admiral, I'd offer you police transport but my guess is that you'd prefer a taxi?" "Yes please."

"Consider it arranged. I'll have a driver meet you at the rear exit."

She shook his hand warmly as he took her to a private waiting area. "I'll be fine from here and thank you again Sergeant, I appreciate all that you've done this morning."

"My pleasure Admiral and it's been an honour to meet you, we're all glad you made it home."

After he had gone, she sat wearily on a chair in the waiting area. Through the clear glass in the door, she thought she could already see the promised taxi already waiting for them. A few minutes later, an officer arrived escorting Chakotay. She saw Chakotay shake his hand before he turned to her. He looked terrible. Embarrassed was insufficient a term she felt, his face puffy and his right eye sporting the beginnings of a purple bruise.

She had rehearsed what she was going to say, but found that her mouth went dry at the sight of him and at first she wasn't sure that she could speak. Feelings of compassion flooded over her and walking purposefully to stand just in front of him, she simply placed her hand lightly on the centre of his chest as she had done many times before.

"Let's go home Chakotay."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three - A long night**

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Chakotay sat on the bench in the small windowless room, looking at the wall. His head resting in his hands, he reflected on just how he had ended up in this mess.

When Voyager had first returned to Earth, it had been a flurry of activity. He and Kathryn had been separated and de-briefed and then the whole crew had been reunited for the awarding of promotions, pardons, honours and the like. Family re-unions had been next and although it had felt good to watch the crew in the arms of their loved ones, it had been hard not having his sister there. She had sent a message of course, and he had been led to believe that he would be granted a travel pass to visit her on Trebus within a couple of weeks of their return. Her baby being due shortly, she had been advised not to travel and he understood that.

But the travel pass had not been forthcoming and although he expected no special treatment, the eight week non-essential travel restriction on all of Voyager's crew had been especially difficult for him. His disappointment at missing the birth of his niece had compounded the sadness he had felt. He could have asked Kathryn; should of asked her in fact, but something had stopped him. His pride he supposed. She hadn't contacted him and he had chosen not to tell her. Wallowing in self pity perhaps he thought, not something his usually did, but he had made such a mess of things between them that it had clouded his judgement.

He had always known that he would resign his commission once they reached Earth. Their time in the Delta Quadrant had made him realise that he had had enough of space travel. Starfleet however, had other ideas and had made him the offer of a one year sabbatical with a part-time teaching post at the Academy. Technically a civilian for this time, when it came to an end, he could choose whether or not to return to his former command role. This had been his high point since their return. The chance to continue his anthropological studies at the same time as teaching advanced tactics and sociology had made him happy. He had moved into the campus accommodation and had started to prepare his syllabus. He liked living on campus and being exposed to the enthusiasm and fresh ideas that came with his students. The perspectives and opinions of the young cadets inspired him, and their views, tempered with some of his experience meant that he enjoyed his lectures and workshops greatly.

.

At one time, he had also hoped that this freedom from the command structure would change his relationship with Kathryn. The fact that his brief relationship with Seven had changed their relationship even before that, still haunted him. He had seen the shock and the hurt on her face and the way she had tried a little too hard to hide it. Everything had changed that day and he wished with all his heart that it hadn't. They hadn't spoken much since and he knew that she had consciously avoided him much in the same way that he had avoided facing Tom and B'Elanna.

It had not been a good idea to go out last night at all, he now realised. He had felt slightly melancholy all afternoon and having nothing better to do, he decided to stop off at the bar he regularly passed on his way home for a beer. This in itself was not a bad decision, but with the benefit of hindsight, opting out of the synthehol might have been, given his state of mind. He had decided to go to the bar for a few quiet beers, he had told himself, and it had started off that way. Two hours and four or five beers later, he had decided to call it a night, when the man had approached him. He had appeared far more inebriated than Chakotay himself and the interaction had not gone well.

He thought at first that he had just been recognised, but after a few minutes it transpired that the guy was an angry Maquis sympathiser who was firmly of the opinion that Chakotay had sold out and betrayed all those who had fought for the cause. Familiar with this view, he had tolerated it to a point. The alcohol in his system perhaps making him more mellow than he would have otherwise been. But the man had persisted, his arguments becoming louder and more unreasonable with each minute. In retrospect, Chakotay realised, he should have seen that the guy was simply looking for a fight and left, but that was not what he had chosen to do. The derogatory comments made about Kathryn had hit a nerve and despite his better judgement, he had reacted.

From that point, his memory was a little hazy, but he remembered the man pushing and shoving him and shouting. He had responded only when the man had thrown a lazy punch that had grazed his face. Despite the alcohol in his system, his boxing skills enabled him to disable his assailant with a single, effective blow. The police had arrived shortly after. He was proud of not having thrown the first punch. No, he corrected himself, proud wasn't the correct term, but he had at least showed some restraint and only responded when he was hit. That at least was something.

The journey to the police station had been mercifully quick. He was escorted by a sympathetic fresh faced officer who seemed to be of the opinion that the other guy was at totally at fault and that Chakotay had been the innocent party in it all. Although not absolutely in agreement with this, he didn't correct the young man preferring instead to limit the damage already done. His counterpart had started to yell profanities about him and all the Voyager crew at the top of his voice. It was at this point that Chakotay had begun to realise the potential fall-out from this incident. He could suddenly visualise the looks on the faces of the Senior Staff and the Admiralty. He would be portrayed as a drunk in a bar brawl he realised; he closed his eyes and tried to block out the disappointed look he could already see on Kathryn's face. She would take it personally he thought and she would blame him for tarnishing the reputation of the Voyager crew. They had been back less than six weeks and he may have already done irreparable damage. If he hadn't been on sabbatical, he would be facing a court martial by now for conduct unbecoming of a Senior Officer and he would deserve it.

It had been a while since he had been inside a cell and the memories that re-surfaced weren't pleasant, so looking around him, he tried to think of something else. It was a sterile and comfortable environment and he had endured far worse. He had declined the offer of representation and had asked them not to call anyone, aware that Tom and B'Elanna were his emergency contact. With a small baby in the house, they would not be pleased to be woken at this hour.

.

At just after 0100 hours, the cell door slid open and a solid man of about forty-five walked in and sat down opposite him. He passed Chakotay a large glass of water and a slice of vegetarian pizza.

"Homemade by my wife" he smiled. "I thought you could do with something to line your stomach Commander."

"Thanks" Chakotay accepted both gratefully. "And it's just Chakotay now."

"Technically maybe, but not to anyone who followed Voyager's journey. You were part of a remarkable crew, such an achievement." He paused.

"I take it that returning to Earth has been...a little complicated?"

Chakotay nodded, "You could say that," he chewed the pizza slowly, "I guess I'm not used to being in the public eye."

The Sergeant nodded. "Well Commander Chakotay, I think we've managed to avoid a diplomatic incident this time. From what my young officer tells me, it was the other man who was intent on a fight and who threw the first punch. He certainly won't be pressing any charges and I've spoken to a friend of mine at the San Francisco Times who owes me a favour."

"Thank you, I appreciate that, but you need not have gone the extra mile for me. I wouldn't have asked that of you."

"I know Commander, and that's exactly why it was the right decision."

A shadow in the doorway, signalled the arrival of a junior officer who said something softly into the Sergeant's ear.

"In person? I see. I'll be right along."

"I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me, I appear to be in demand this morning. Officer White here will be back in a while to take you through to the waiting area and we'll organise some transport home."

He stood and shook Chakotay's hand, "It's been good to meet you Commander, perhaps under different circumstances next time, my wife is a big fan of yours."

Feeling a little unworthy, Chakotay stood and shook his hand. "Thank you Sergeant and please tell her how much I enjoyed the pizza."

He smiled and nodded before turning towards the door. But something stopped him and turning back towards the figure sitting slightly stooped on the bench, he placed a hand lightly on Chakotay's shoulder.

"It's rare that we see Starfleet Admirals down here Commander. Something tells me that you've got a good friend there."

He saw Chakotay's head lift as he left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four - Reflections**

**.**

The taxi driver didn't bat an eyelid as they got into his vehicle and made no attempt at the usual conversation en route to her apartment. Either he was used to seeing people a great deal more well known than they were, leaving police stations in the early hours, or the Sergeant had had something to do with their 'taxi'. Kathryn thought it probably the latter.

Chakotay didn't speak on the journey and she busied herself looking out at the beautiful pre-dawn sky. The sun had not yet risen fully, but hints of the morning light to come were visible in the cracks between the tall buildings as the soft amber light began to spread its glow over the streets. She loved this time, before the day had begun, a quiet, clean slate. Once at hers, he simply followed Kathryn through to her guest bedroom. She left him sitting on the edge of the bed while she went to get an ice pack, a glass of water and to replicate him some pyjamas. She found a plain navy cotton pair with a white trim in the database that she thought would do the job and she made a guess at his size. Returning to the bedroom, she found him as she had left him. She sat down next to him and proffered the ice pack

"Better late than never? Seeing as you declined the dermal regenerator, I presume you want to keep the bruising?"

She kept her tone light as he nodded. Making no attempt to take the pack from her hands, he didn't object as she lifted it and held it over the purple-blue bruising just under his eye. They sat there in silence awhile, until satisfied that it had done as much as it ever would, she took the ice pack from his face. Placing her hand gently on the side of his chin, she turned his face towards hers and looked at him. His dark eyes, normally so deep and rich, looked flat and troubled. He looked exhausted and she handed him the pyjamas.

"Kathryn..."

She raised her hand slightly, palm outward, to stop him and shook her head.

"We can talk tomorrow Chakotay, save for one thing that I need to say to you. I've been a poor friend since we got home and you deserve far better. I'm so sorry that I let you down and I hope you can forgive me."

Her eyes registered the surprise in his, as unsure of what else to do, he simply placed his arms around her and held her tightly.

.

The next morning, while Chakotay was still asleep, Kathryn slipped into her office to contact Tom and B'Elanna. It was Tom who answered her Comm, he looked tired, evidence that Miral hadn't slept very well Kathryn thought. He was as chipper as ever though.

"Good morning Kathryn, you're looking lovely."

She smiled. "Thanks Tom, flattery will get you everywhere. I wish I could say the same for you, rough night?"

"Mmm nothing that five or six cups of coffee won't sort. B'Elanna has gone back to bed with Miral for a bit, but I've got a test flight scheduled."

"On a Saturday? Where's the Tom Paris I used to know? If I remember correctly, you once made a certain Ensign work your week-end shifts for a month when he lost that bet."

He smiled. "I guess I'm all grown up, _Ma'am, _and I thought you knew nothing about my wagers aboard Voyager?"

She rolled her eyes. "You'd be surprised how much I knew, _Lieutenant."_

His grin faded as he became more serious. "He's with you?"

She nodded. "They released him almost as soon as I got there, I think they were just keeping an eye on him really." She rubbed her neck subconsciously. "You were right, there were no charges and somehow the duty Sergeant thinks he can manage to keep the whole affair under wraps."

She looked worried, Tom thought. The Kathryn he'd known for the last seven years was practised at hiding her emotions, but she had started to let her guard down around them and he could see the strain in her eyes. Still, he guessed, she had a right to be concerned. He had been in more than his fair share of scrapes, but that was a long time ago. They had all become public figures since their return and whatever Chakotay was going through, he felt sorry for the poor guy. They had tried to reach out to him, but it hadn't done any good.

.

He had watched the relationship between the two of them deteriorate since Chakotay had gone crazy and briefly dated Seven, and this is where it had finally led. As much as they had grown closer in the last six weeks, Kathryn had made it clear that the topic of Chakotay was off limits and he hadn't tried to force the issue. He only hoped that they could get their friendship back on track. He and B'Elanna would have liked them to have been more than friends of course, but he wasn't sure if that was possible, now more than ever. It was strange he thought, that things had become more, rather than less complicated since their return from the Delta Quadrant.

"Was he hurt?"

"He's got a fair sized bruise on his face and will no doubt have a headache, but he'll live. He didn't start anything according to the police, the other guy was pushing and shoving him and made some fairly…...inflammatory comments. He finished off by throwing a punch and Chakotay reacted."

"With his boxing skills, rather than his Starfleet training I take it?"

She looked away, sighing. "I'm not sure how I can help him Tom, as you've probably gathered things are a bit of a mess between us."

He paused. "You know me, I'm no relationship expert. I get nervous every time B"Elanna so much as looks that Bat'leth. But, I have a twentieth century movie quote for just about every occasion." She raised her eyebrows slightly.

"A wise man once said that one often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.

You need to talk to him Kathryn, about everything. The two of you, hell all of us have come through too much to give up now." She looked thoughtful and Tom held his breath.

"You know Tom, in spite of myself I sometimes like your movie quotes. Is it from a classic?"

"Only if you consider Kung Foo Panda a classic." He grinned and terminated the Comm link, before she could reply.

.

Chakotay woke with a pounding headache and a horribly dry mouth. He remembered instantly just why he stuck to the Synthehol the majority of the time. He could hear sounds coming from the kitchen and he could smell the coffee. Sitting up, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, ran his fingers through his hair and walked through to the kitchen. Kathryn smiled at him.

"Good morning, coffee?" He nodded, "thanks."

She was wearing a pair of dove grey trousers with a white t-shirt and a pale pink sweater around her shoulders. Her hair, now a long bob, was loose and he tried to remember when he'd had seen her in anything other than uniform in the last year. Sometimes on Voyager when they had dinner together, she would be out of uniform, but the last few months had been hectic and they were both on duty almost all of the time. She looked totally different in casual clothes he thought.

Taking a seat at the small white table by the window, he looked around the kitchen. It was a pleasant room with beach cabinets and a dark grey granite worktop. The oven looked pristine and recalling her lack of culinary skill, he couldn't help but smile a little as he wondered if she had even turned it on since she had moved it. The smell of pancakes made him turn towards her.

"Breakfast is served" she announced, holding out a plate of pancakes topped with mixed red berries, maple syrup and mascarpone.

"This looks great, thanks".

"Ah, don't thank me before you've tried it, I got Lana to pre-programme the replicator when I moved in."

He smiled "if they taste as good as they look, then I'm sure they'll be delicious."

She sat down opposite him and they ate in a comfortable silence. Both hungry, they finished the pancakes and a second cup of coffee that she poured them before she spoke.

"I meant what I said last night Chakotay. I hope you can forgive the way I've acted. I couldn't really process what happened between you and Seven and I chose to shut you out and walk away. It was easier at the time, but it wasn't the right way to go about things and I see that now."

"Kathryn, I..." He didn't know where else to start, so he followed her lead "what happened between Seven and I was just a fleeting romance. I was lonely and it was nice, that someone wanted to be with me."

She looked intently at her mug of coffee while he continued.

"It was an error of judgement and one which resulted in me losing my best friend, at least for a while. We were never suited, she was so…."

"Young?" She couldn't help it, the words were out of her mouth before she realised.

He coloured slightly, a slightly more defensive look crossing his face. "Yes, she was too young and naive and I think it was more of a crush on her part really. But she was genuinely interested in me Kathryn, with no preconditions, and I thought I wanted that."

It was her turn to be defensive now. "We were never in a relationship Chakotay and I never set any preconditions."

"Maybe, but you knew how I felt Kathryn and I thought you felt the same way."

After a while, she said, "I waited."

"And I didn't? Seven years is a long time, we both had our share of..." He tailed off as he saw the colour rising in her cheeks.

She blushed, remembering a few things that she didn't want to and some that she did. Then her eyes lifted to meet his. He looked into them, blue and steely. Command like, he thought.

"But never with a member of the crew Chakotay, _never_ with the crew."

So that was the problem he thought. Placing his hands palms downward on the table, he exhaled. Now he knew, it wasn't his fling, it was who it was with and that wasn't something he could undo, it wasn't something he could change and they both knew that.

There, she had finally said it Kathryn thought. Voiced the issue at the very heart of their separation, the issue that burned in her chest every time she thought of it; of them. It was true they'd both had flings before, but he had crossed the line. A line that she knew she could never cross. That was the difference between them. She hadn't crossed it in seven years and she wasn't sure if she could forgive him for it. She tilted her head, feeling the tension creep up her shoulders into her neck. If she wasn't careful, she'd end up with one hell of a headache.

Deciding that he needed some time to process what she had said, Chakotay steered the conversation in another direction. A more comfortable one, for her at least. "I want to thank you for last night." She nodded, her eyes briefly meeting his. "I didn't want the Sergeant to call you. I didn't give them your details, I would never put you in that position."

"I know Chakotay. The police didn't call me, B'Elanna did. She was worried about you."

"B'Elanna?" His brow furrowed slightly.

"Yes, I don't think she knew what else to do. She's been trying to get hold of you, she said you've been avoiding them."

He nodded, thinking. He could admit to himself that perhaps he had. He hadn't been in the mood to watch them play happy families. He felt ashamed of that thought. They were his friends and he knew he should be bigger than that, he was glad for their happiness. It was the situation with his sister, his distress about not being able to see her. He realised that he had let it affect everything.

"Why didn't you call me? About the travel pass?" Her tone was softer and she reached her hand across the table to touch his. "Chakotay, whatever had happened between us, I would have helped you. You need to see your family, to be with people who love you. Other people who love you, I mean. Even your Voyager family can't replace that."

He shrugged noncommittally. "I didn't know where we stood Kathryn." It was an excuse and he wasn't even sure he believed it, much less expected her to.

"After seven years?" Her eyebrows raised and she wore that expression on her face, the one that told him that she didn't believe his nonsense. She was calling his bluff and he knew it.

"Okay, so maybe I knew that I'd hurt you and it was easier to avoid you than to face it."

She smiled her slightly crooked smile at him, her eyes narrowing a little. "That's more like it."

"I suppose it is." He wasn't sure what to say.

"I know it is. Because, I just might have been avoiding you too." She looked away, a flicker of embarrassment crossing her face.

"Well, at least we know where we stand." He said a little lamely. For a moment, neither of them knew what to say and an awkward silence hung in the air.

"Do you think there's a way back?" Her eyes were questioning. "Because, if there's one thing I've realised, it's that I want my best friend back. I've missed you Chakotay."

He spoke cautiously. "I'd like there to be a way back Kathryn. I've acted badly, embarrassed myself and worse, hurt the people that mean the most to me. I've made a mess of things since we got back and I won't blame you if you want to walk away."

She squeezed his hand. "That's the very last thing I'm going to do Chakotay. You've been my friend for nearly seven years and I'm not going to let one mistake put an end to that. Besides you're not the only one at fault here."

"So what next?" he still looked uncertain.

"Well, I think we've got quite a to do list, including painting my lounge, but first things first. More coffee?"

He smiled and collected their cups.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five - Colours**

**.**

Standing back, they studied the wall carefully. Four test patches now painted in a row looked back at them. She squinted her eyes slightly to better study them.

"What do you think?"

"I like the pale teal, looking out over towards the park, it has the effect of continuing the outside greenery inside."

She looked at him, a smile dancing on her lips. "I hadn't thought of it that way, I think I'll employ you as my design consultant if the Academy doesn't work out"

He smiled tentatively. "I don't know about that, you've always been better with the paintbrush than me."

"No, I trust your judgement Chakotay, the teal it is."

"Let's hope your faith in me isn't misplaced."

Sensing his lack of confidence in himself, she headed towards the replicator confidently, paintbrush in hand, "I'm sure it isn't."

.

"What do you mean, that's all she said?"

"I mean that's all she said. It was a short conversation at 8 a.m B'Elanna, we didn't exactly have a long heart to heart."

"Well why not Tom? You know I've been worrying like crazy since we got that call. You should have pressed her."

"It was 8 a.m B'Elanna. We'd had like, four hours sleep and she looked like she'd had even less, I wasn't about to grill the woman. She had been to the police station, Chakotay was released without charge or caution and he was going to be staying with her for the next few days."

"Well how did you end it with her?"

He groaned inwardly "I'm no good at relationship advice..."

She stopped pacing and turned to look at him. "Wait, Kathryn actually asked for _your advice?"_

_"_No, well not in so many words, it was kind of, implied." There was a note of warning in her voice. "Tom, what did you say to her?"

"I panicked B'Elanna, you know I don't deal with that kind of thing well and Kathryn Janeway of all people asking for my help. She gave me that look, you know when her head drops and she looks a little lost..."

"Oh God Tom, what did you say to her?"

'It was a movie quote okay? My fall back position."

B'Elanna rolled her eyes. "She calls us to talk about her and Chakotay for the first time in forever, and you gave her a movie quote?"

"When you say it like that it sounds bad. It wasn't that bad B'Elanna, she looked okay when we ended the call. I think it might have even been helpful. It was about following your destiny and facing the things that you've been avoiding."

She looked at him, a little mollified. "That doesn't sound like the worst thing you could have said I guess, and she has been avoiding him."

He took the compliment and ran with it. "See, your husband isn't a total ko'tal after all."

"Which movie was it from anyway?"

Damn he thought, he had so nearly got away with it. "Kung Foo Panda." He said it very quickly and headed for the door.

.

Deciding to give Chakotay some space, Kathryn was now five minutes from her office. She'd made the excuse that she had left some urgent work there and he had looked as if he had believed her. She was fortunate that he was distracted she realised, otherwise he would have seen straight through her lie. She had left him half way through painting her wall, with a promise that she wouldn't be gone long.

Striding into the building on a Saturday at just after 1300 hours, the two ensigns on desk duty to jumped rapidly to their feet.

"Good afternoon Admiral." They chorused, backs ramrod straight, standing at attention. Looking over at them, neither of them more than 23 she thought, made her briefly ponder her early Starfleet career and she wondered if she could remember what it felt like to be that young and keen. She smiled as she remembered that she had been both and probably great deal more serious with it.

"As you were gentleman. As it's the week-end, I would appreciate it if no-one else knows that I'm here, understood?"

"Yes Ma'am"

Despite her comment, they remained standing at attention until she stepped into the lift. Once at her floor, she headed down the corridor and into her office without meeting anyone else and sat down at her desk to begin the process. She yawned and stretched her neck and walked across the room to the replicator, "coffee, black."

.

An hour later with the necessary report completed, she dashed off a quick covering mail to Admiral Hayes for his stamp of approval. She should have been able to do this for Chakotay a long time ago, but at least she could do it now. It seemed such a small thing and it didn't sit well with her that he hadn't asked her.

"It's a surprise to see you here Kathryn, I thought you were decorating this week-end?"

She startled, almost knocking over her coffee, as Admiral Hayes' imposing form appeared in her doorway.

"You scared me, Sir. Apologies." She quickly scrambled to her feet.

He waved his hand towards her. "Relax Kathryn, its the week-end remember? You'll give yourself a hernia like those two ensigns in the lobby." She smiled at this observation. "I just dropped in really, I had…"

"An urgent mail to send? I know, it just popped up on my console a minute ago. I've already granted your request, but can I ask why now?"

She paused, sensing his eyes upon her. "It's something I should have done a while ago Sir. Did you realise that Chakotay hasn't been granted leave to travel yet? His sister isn't able to travel to visit Earth and he has no-one else. We've been back nearly six weeks and he hasn't seen his family. I should have done this long before now."

He eased himself into the chair on the other side of his desk, his face serious. "No, I didn't realise and I'm sorry Kathryn. That sort of oversight falls on all of us and I'll speak to someone in Administrations. He pressed his fingers together before he spoke again. There was something about the look on his face that told her that she wasn't going to like what he was going to say.

"I don't like to pry Kathryn, but I know that you and Chakotay developed a close working relationship on Voyager." She nodded, keeping her eyes on his face. "I've had someone recently express some concern over his welfare. Not gossip, you understand, this comes from a single source who was worried and who didn't know who else to speak to."

"Sir, I feel that I've been remiss in my duty to Chakotay. As his friend and more importantly as his former C.O…" He stopped her in her tracks with a shake of his head.

"Kathryn, that's not what I'm asking. There is absolutely no blame to be placed here. You have all been through so much, things that the rest of us can only imagine and I'm sure returning to Earth has been harder for some than others. I know Chakotay was an exemplary First Officer and an invaluable member of your crew." She nodded, her face rather betraying her feelings she thought. He leant forward slightly. "So what I'm saying is, that I'm here to help. Anything that you need, Starfleet's full resources are at your disposal, without judgement. We want to help every member of Voyager's crew adjust to being back home."

Kathryn wasn't usually stuck for words, but his statement had surprised and slightly moved her if she was honest. After a moment's thought, she spoke.

"Thank you Sir, that means a great deal. Chakotay hasn't had the easiest of times and I do take partial responsibility for that. I should have made it my business to know that he hadn't seen his family. Those last few weeks on Voyager were immensely stressful and I let things get in the way of our friendship. I think he needs a friend to talk to and it's the least I can do considering how much I owe him and how much support he gave me. I'm confident that he'll be just fine."

"I'm glad to hear that, if you need to talk, you know my door is always open. Now, finish up and head home before I have to make that an order."

"Aye Sir" she smiled as the broad figure walked away from her and back down the corridor.

Draining her coffee cup, she couldn't help but wonder what he had heard and from whom. She hoped for Chakotay's sake that he knew nothing about the incident at the bar. That could be easily misinterpreted. Thinking of Chakotay, she grabbed a couple of PADDs from her desk, threw them in her bag and headed out.

Admiral Hayes watched Kathryn leave from the window of his corner office. She had impressed him ever since she was a cadet and the evidence of her leadership skills and courage he had seen in every report he had read since Voyager had made it back to Earth. She had clearly cared passionately about her crew and he had wondered about her relationship with Chakotay. He hoped that she could help him, it sounded like if anyone could, it was her, he thought.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six - The road back**

**.**

Chakotay stepped back and admired his handiwork. The light teal had been a good choice, at least he was doing something right at the moment. Putting his paintbrush down he heard the Comm chiming on the console in the lounge. Wiping his hands on his shirt, and presuming it was Kathryn, he hit the accept button and before he realised it, Seven's face appeared on the screen. Chakotay stepped back in surprise knocking against a small table as he did so, and very nearly sending a framed photograph of Kathryn's mother flying.

"Commander. I am surprised to see you. I was expecting Admiral Janeway." Her knack of stating the obvious hadn't changed he thought, although her appearance had, in just a few weeks. Her blonde hair was more softly styled and she was wearing a top and jacket that suited her, without being as form fitting as the suit she had worn on Voyager. Seeing her made his mouth run dry and he felt a spectrum of conflicting emotions, from embarrassment through to disappointment and regret. It wasn't her fault, what had happened, but that only served to make him feel slightly worse.

"Seven, it's good to see you. I'm helping Kath…Admiral Janeway with some decorating. I thought that was her calling."

"She is not currently there with you?"

"No, she had to go and get something from her office."

"I see, well perhaps you could tell her that I called?"

"Of course." He sat down tentatively on a chair. How have you been?"

"I am well. If you are referring to the ending of our relationship, the Doctor told me that you might wish to discuss it further." He swallowed, wondering if she expected a response, but she continued. "Although I enjoyed spending time with you, I have come to realise that we were ill-suited to pursue a long-term commitment. My new position at the research station takes up the majority of my time and I do not feel the need to further explore that aspect of my humanity. Does that satisfy your need to talk about this subject?"

He smiled, you could rely on Seven to tell you the harsh truth if nothing else.

"Well, yes, but I'm sorry Seven. I enjoyed the time we spent together and it wasn't my intention to hurt you or put you off relationships forever. You're a good person and if you want, I'm sure there's someone out there for you."

"Possibly, but for now, I am happy with my work" She paused. "What about you? Have you found that _someone out there for you_?"

"No, well maybe yes and no, it's….complicated."

"As I have discovered most human relationships are, unnecessarily in my opinion." She hesitated, "perhaps you should just ask the Admiral whether or not she feels the same way."

Seven saw Chakotay's mouth open at about the same time she saw Kathryn walk across her screen, presumably from the direction of the front door. She paused briefly at the console.

"Seven, it's lovely to see you, if you'll excuse me, I'll give you two some privacy and we can catch up another time." With that and a small smile, she disappeared.

Chakotay said something about being best to Comm at another time, before politely ending the call. It was perplexing she thought, how complex humans could make the simplest of things.

.

Kathryn resisted the urge to slam her bedroom door. Pacing towards the window and back, she tried to suppress the anger that she felt. The minute she had left him in her apartment, he had called _her_. Seven of all people. The relationship that had, at least in part, got him and now her, into this mess. She took a deep breath and wondered if she had anything soft but satisfying that she could throw at the wall. Their quarters had adjoining walls on board Voyager and after the very worst days, she was acutely aware that he might have heard her emotion. On several occasions, she thought he had chimed the door out of concern, but she had pretended not to hear. He had this uncanny ability to know what she was thinking and feeling, and it resulted in a vulnerability that was both comforting and unnerving.

That's your trouble Kathryn, her mother had told her, you hide every emotion and don't like to let people in. Maybe that was what she was doing again. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she felt strangely deflated. Her anger subsided and she wondered how much of this was her fault and how much his. He had every right to speak to Seven and just maybe he was trying to return things to the way they were before, except they both knew that wasn't possible. He had made an error in judgement and she just had to let it go. She laid back on her bed and closed her eyes, allowing the tiredness from the lack of sleep to catch up with her. Putting aside everything else, she thought about the happy times on Voyager. And they had made it home, she told herself, against all the odds.

.

Chakotay looked at the closed bedroom door between them. She hadn't slammed it, but had carefully shut it in such a way that made him sure that she was angry. Her tone had been light, her words carefully chosen, but still he was sure. It had all been little too, careful. He wondered if she had heard anything Seven had said, her face had given nothing away, but then again, she was well practised at that. He listened for a while, but could hear nothing and his instinct told him that this probably wasn't the time to knock. He wasn't going to sit there and look at the door for the rest of the afternoon, so picking up a jacket to cover his painting shirt, he slipped on his shoes and let himself quietly out of the apartment. He told himself that a walk would do him good, clear his mind.

When he returned, two hours later, it was with Italian take-away and a bottle of red wine. Kathryn was standing with a cup of coffee on the balcony and he joined her. She looked as if she had been sleeping he thought, her eyes still a little bleary, her hair slightly ruffled and her cheeks slightly pinker than usual. Her posture was relaxed, she was half leaning against the outside wall and he placed a hand lightly on her arm. She turned to look at him over her shoulder as he spoke "I didn't know if you'd eaten so I brought dinner with me."

"Thanks, do I smell Italian?" "Yes, it's from the place just up the street, it comes highly recommended." "I'm famished, so let's eat."

They headed into the kitchen and she set out the plates and served the pasta and he poured the wine. The food was good and half way through the meal, he braved the subject of the Comm call.

"Earlier, with Seven..."

"Please, Chakotay. Don't feel you need to explain anything, she's a friend and former crewmate. There is no reason that you can't call her."

"Actually, she called to speak to you."

That took her by surprise and she tried to swallow her wine without coughing, unsuccessfully. Chakotay looked at her, his eyes twinkling slightly and she thought she saw a hint of his dimples as he tried not to smile little.

Taking a sip of her water, she tilted her head and smiled at him. "Okay, so I'm big enough to admit when I'm wrong. Did she tell you what she wanted?"

"No, but it helped to clear the air between us. Kathryn, Seven and I... I'm hoping we can move past what happened. I can't undo what was done, but it wasn't serious and we both realised that it wasn't going anywhere. If I implied the other day that any of this was your fault, I'm sorry about that."

"Chakotay, I think we've both made our share of mistakes." She placed her fork on the edge of her plate slowly. "Having a relationship with a member of the crew is a line I told myself that I would never cross and it's hard for me to accept that you made that choice. But, I'm not going to let that ruin things between us, our friendship means too much to me."

"I appreciate that Kathryn, I'm just not sure it was a conscious choice. Sometimes these things happen and what I should have done was chosen not to pursue it. We both know that attractions between members of a close crew can happen. If circumstances had been different, do you think you and I would have been more than just friends?" He let the question hang in the air, to gauge her reaction.

Kathryn decided not to think too much before replying. "I think that if we had met outside of Voyager; outside of the Delta Quadrant, the Command structure, we both know that our relationship might have been different. I'm still proud of the fact that there was a line we didn't cross on Voyager Chakotay. I…..We had the responsibly for the welfare of that crew and we had a mission to complete, to get them home…."

"And now that we are home?"

"I don't know." He reached across the table and took both her hands in his.

"Because, if you don't feel the same way Kathryn, if you don't love me then I think now is your chance to set the record straight."

She squeezed his hands. "Of course I love you Chakotay and I think I have for a long time. I've just spent the last seven years with our relationship being defined by certain 'parameters' and I haven't really taken the time to think about what it might look like without them."

He smiled at her. "I could invent an ancient legend if it would make it easier?" She rolled her eyes a little, but kept her hands in his. "I think we both need some time Kathryn. I haven't dealt with things very well since we got back and I don't want to rush into anything either. I wanted to see if you were open to the possibility of something more that's all."

She smiled her bright beautiful smile. "I'm glad you're not going anywhere. That wall needs another coat of paint."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven - Starstruck**

**.**

**"**I'm telling you B'Elanna, it was inspired, if they end up getting married, I'll be best man for sure."

"Tom, you quoted a twentieth century animated movie, staring a giant Panda who liked Kung Foo. That's not inspired, it's ridiculous. We'll be lucky to get an invite."

"It worked didn't it? They're talking, getting along. According to my spies they went…"

"Tom, are you having them followed? If this is one of your crazy wagers with Harry, I swear, I'll….."

"Shhhh, we're here and they are just over there" he whispered. "Smile and pretend like I just said something funny."

Linking his arm in B'Elanna's he strolled over to join Kathryn and Chakotay at the table. Kathryn stood first, "Tom, Lana, lovely to see you" the women hugged warmly and Tom shook Chakotay's hand. "It's good to see you Chakotay." "You too Tom, I'm sorry if I've been a little elusive." "Don't worry about it, I saw quite enough of you over the last seven years." Chakotay smiled as the joke broke the tension and Kathryn nodded at Tom gratefully as they all sat down to study their menus.

"Nice place, I've heard great reviews about it and I'm not very familiar with vegetarian cuisine."

"It was Chakotay's choice, apparently the vegetable taurine is scrumptious."

Orders placed, they chatted casually while waiting for their starters. Tom and B'Elanna had new photos of Miral and they spoke of the rest of the crew, some of whom had received new assignments. It was while their starters were being served that Kathryn noticed a small group of reporters outside. She glanced around the restaurant, but didn't notice anyone especially newsworthy, presuming they must have had a tip off about a celebrity who hadn't yet arrived.

.

By the time they were eating their main courses, the small group of reporters had turned into a big one and something made Kathryn surreptitiously check the PADD in her bag only to see three messages from Admiral Hayes, requested that she contact him urgently. Damn, she thought, that meant only one thing. Her heart sank and she instantly lost her appetite. Chakotay noticing this, leaned across the table towards her "is your food okay? Do you want to change your order?"

"No, the food is lovely, it's not that, it's….." she rubbed her hand across her forehead, a familiar gesture which caught the attention of Tom and B'Elanna. B'Elanna who was seated next to her placed a hand on her shoulder. "Kathryn, is everything okay?"

"I'm fine, but I think _we_ have a problem. There's a large group of reporters outside and I've got multiple messages from Admiral Hayes."

Tom and B'Elanna still looked a little unsure, but Chakotay immediately realised what she meant. "You think the media have somehow got hold of the story?"

She nodded and he swore softly. "I can't think of any other reason, he would be calling me on a Sunday and why they would be here." She inclined her head to the throng of news cameras outside. Tom was tapping intently into another PADD. "I'll be able to give us a heads up if it's a breaking news story, at least we won't be in the dark." For a moment they all waited. "I'm sorry Chakotay, Kathryn was right, the media are alleging that you assaulted a member of the public and were arrested. It's just been headlined on CNN."

Chakotay closed his eyes briefly. Just when things were starting to look up he thought. Tom spoke, "Kathryn why don't you ask the manager if there is a private office with a Comm terminal you can use so we can ask Admiral Hayes what he wants us to do. B'Elanna, pretend to use the rest room and find the rear exit, we need to know if they have reporters there and if we can get a car to collect us." As both women left the table, Tom smiled at Chakotay, "don't worry, I've gotten out of far worse than this."

Terminating the Comm line, Kathryn sighed. It was all going so well and now this had to happen. Some of the allegations were wild and although Admiral Hayes had stopped short of asking her if she knew anything about that evening as they were on a public Comm line, she saw the question in his eyes. As she arrived back at their table, B'Elanna was speaking "the back exit is clear, it leads into a side alleyway and we can easily have a car meet us round there." Tom nodded, "I'll ask the manager to arrange it, I'm assuming no-one has an appetite for dessert? Kathryn what did the Admiral say?"

"Not much, Starfleet didn't have a heads up, so they are scrambling to call their best PR people in. He suggested that we leave separately, quietly if possible. Chakotay, they want you and I to go into a HQ for a debrief, but not until they're all set up. We can transport in later."

"From your place? I'm not putting you in the middle of this Kathryn, an association with me, with this mess, could ruin your career. I'll go back to mine."

"I'm already in the middle of this as your friend and your former C.O and that's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, you defended yourself. There's no arrest, no charges and probably very minimal details on the police system if any. They won't find the dirt they're looking for. Tom, tell me we can rely on you to have a plan?"

"Okay so we'll use the decoy trick, the oldest in the book. Chakotay and B'Elanna will leave by the rear exit and head straight to Kathryn's place, assuming there are no reporters there yet. We'll give you a five minute head start and then Kathryn and I will go out of the front and delay the reporters a bit. We will then head back to hers and meet you there. If there are reporters at Kathryn's place, I think we'll have to go to HQ."

"Agreed Tom. How long before the car is here?"

"The Maitre d just gave me a nod, so it looks like you are good to go. Stay in touch." B'Elanna and a troubled looking Chakotay walked quietly out of sight and Tom saw Kathryn squeeze his hand just before they left. While Tom settled the bill, Kathryn tried not to look out of the window. After a few minutes he spoke, "we'll need to hail a cab out front, it will give us time to look surprised and harassed on camera and to give them something to watch. Ready?"

"Absolutely, let me grab my coat and we'll go. You know I always was a bit of an actress."

He broke the tension with a smile. "You don't have to tell me that Kathryn, I still remember your performance as Arachnia, Queen of the Spider people."

The other diners were staring as they left and Kathryn was careful to keep her face pleasantly neutral. The manager whispered his apologies, saying that they would be welcome back when what he described as 'a storm in a tea cup' blew over. Tom opened the door and placed his hand on her arm. "I'd say ladies first, but it looks little boisterous out there, so if you don't mind?" she nodded and held back slightly as he used his greater height to shield her.

The roar of questions and light flashes, hit them like a wall and she felt, rather than saw Tom stop for a moment to get his bearings. He started to work his way towards the curb and she stuck close to him.

.

_Admiral Janeway, can you tell us if the allegations about Commander Chakotay are true?_

_ Admiral do you know who hit first? _

_Admiral, how much alcohol did the Commander have? Is it true that Commander Chakotay was arrested? Is it true that he spent the night in a police cell? _

_Admiral, do you wish to comment on allegations that you were the cause of the fight? _

_Admiral, is it true that you and the Commander were or are currently in a relationship? Admiral, Admiral any comment?_

_._

Tom replied for her. "No comment gentlemen at this time. Let us through please."

She was dazed by the onslaught and for a second she lost Tom in the crowd. As the shouting continued, a TV camera was pushed roughly against her left side; the force of the impact causing her to lose her footing and she stumbled. Instinctively reaching out her hand to save herself, she felt a jarring and then a tearing pain around her shoulder. The next thing she knew Tom's arm was around her and he bundled her into the waiting cab.

Slamming the car door shut, Tom pushed past the reporters still trying to take photos of Kathryn through the window and jumped in the other side. "Go" he simply said to the driver and the cab pulled sharply away into the traffic.

The journey was quiet. Both recovering from the furore, they let their heads rest back against the seats and watched the skyline. The silence was broken by Tom. "The Delta flyer is safe and sound." She nodded to show that she understood him and as they rounded a corner sharply, tried to support her left arm with her right a little. Her shoulder felt as if it were on fire and the pain made her felt slightly nauseous.

Tom glanced in Kathryn's direction as they stopped at an Intersection and paused as he noticed how she was subtly cradling her arm. After a moments thought, he unbuckled and slid over to sit closer to her. He placed his hand under her left forearm, careful to take the weight as he held it.

"Can I take a look?"

She nodded and released her grip slightly as his fingers gently worked their way up her arm from her wrist. When he reached her shoulder joint, she flinched and closed her eyes briefly. He turned to look at her straight on, even from this angle there was something about her posture that didn't look right too.

"Can you lift this arm?" She shook her head.

"Mmm, I think you've damaged your shoulder. "May I?" He reached over to her coat and gently pulled out the fabric belt from around her waist. Tying the ends together to make a loop, he carefully slid it over her head and onto her right shoulder so that it lay across her body. Slowly, they eased her left arm though the loop and the makeshift sling was complete.

As the taxi drew up at her apartment, she could see the first of the reporters starting to arrive. "Do you want to go around?" She shook her head, "no, we should go through the front door." Tom held the door car open and stepped forward to help her out. She looked as if she was still in a fair amount of pain he thought, but he knew better than to say anything just yet. She drew her breath in sharply as she stood, but walked towards the front door as usual, ignoring the few waiting cameras as they flashed.

.

Upstairs in the apartment, Chakotay was pacing, back and forth, B'Elanna looked at him in exasperation. "Sit down Chakotay, they'll be here any minute and you wearing a hole in Kathryn's floor won't help."

"Look, they're already on the news." A clip of Tom and Kathryn leaving the restaurant was on the screen and he stopped to watch. It was almost a scrum and B'Elanna watched proudly as Tom cleared a path towards the curb for them, dodging the insistent questions and camera flashes. Kathryn looked as composed as ever, until suddenly a large camera appeared to ram her left side snd they watched as she stumbled badly. Tom quickly helped her up and the final seconds of film were of them speeding away in a taxi.

Chakotay looked anxious, "this is all my fault, B'Elanna..."

"This isn't all your fault, don't start to think that way, it won't help. B"Elanna placed her hand on his shoulder. "Kathryn's tough remember? She's had worse knocks than that."

At the sound of a car, he started to the window, but she stopped him. "Let me. They might have cameras trained on the apartment." Looking through the slatted blinds, she saw Tom. "Relax, Chakotay it's them."

Tapping in her entrance code, Kathryn was relieved when the door opened and then closed behind them, shutting everything else out.

"How's the shoulder?" Tom's hand was on her back.

"It's okay, I've had worse."

"I'll replicate a tricorder and medkit upstairs and take a better look."

.

"Thanks Tom, we'll be up in a minute." Chakotay came down the stairs two at a time and Tom took his cue to leave. Placing his arm protectively around Kathryn's right shoulder so she could lean against him he guided her to sit on the stair. Sitting down next to her, he looked at her shoulder closely. "Nice sling" she smiled, "thanks, some of Mr Paris' best fieldwork."

"Do you think anything is broken?"

"No, I think I just gave it a good wrench, I'm fine really."

"It looks as if it's already starting to swell, so if you can move your arm a little, I think we should get your coat off. As she eased her arm out of the sling, he slipped her coat down her arm and off. The pain made her eyes water. "I'm sorry Kathryn, for ever getting you involved in this."

She looked at him, "there's to be no more apologies Chakotay and I mean it. I want to be involved. I'm not going to let this turn into a witch hunt. "Come on, help me up, we've got work to do."

Tom and B'Elanna were sat watching the news channel. As they walked into the lounge, B'Elanna jumped up from the sofa and pulled the chair closer, "sit down Kathryn and let Tom take a better look at your arm." She eased herself slowly into the chair. "Thanks Lana, but as confident as I am in your husband's medical skills, we're going to get an independent medical opinion. I think we can use this to our advantage." Three slightly confused faces looked back at her. She continued, "we all know that all the media have is speculation. There are no records of what happened, no charges were ever brought and unless they have a willing eye witness, they have no real case against Chakotay."

"That's true, there's no-one talking on camera, all we've seen is one reporter quoting an anonymous source." Tom was already on her wavelength, "so you want to divert their attention by giving them another story?" "Exactly." "And what better headline than Starfleet's newest poster girl having her privacy violated by the media and the ensuing scuffle, all caught on camera of course?"

Kathryn rolled her eyes at Tom. "It's been a long time since anyone referred to me as a girl Tom, but you're on the right track. The alternative story here is about protecting citizens against press intrusion, aggressive press intrusion in this case."

"So we need a Doctor to catalogue your injuries for evidence." She nodded as Chakotay spoke. "You know that by making the story about this, the press might go after you personally?"

"I do, but I think it's fairly low risk, I did nothing to provoke the media, except have lunch with friends and they won't find many skeletons in my closet."

"It's a good job, they won't be looking in mine or Chakotay's then." Tom ever the joker, made them all smile. "Okay, I'll contact Starfleet Medical and find a physician who can transport over."

"Can you hold a console for me first please Tom? I'll need to speak to Admiral Hayes to get his approval before we can do anything."

.

As she ended the Comm call, Chakotay looked over at Kathryn. She looked paler than she had before and he wondered just how much pain she was in. As he was thinking this, she seemed to sway slightly in the chair and he automatically reached down to steady her by holding her uninjured shoulder.

"Kathryn, unless you want the Doctor to examine that shoulder here in your lounge, I think we'd better try and make you more comfortable. Are you okay to walk? I'm sure Tom can give you something for the pain if you need?"

She shook her head, although accepted his outstretched hand to help her stand.

Ten minutes later and Beverley Crusher stood in Kathryn's living room and shook Tom"s hand. "It's good to see you again Tom."

"You too Beverley, but am I to believe that you're the duty Doc today?"

"Strange as it seems, even us veterans get the short straw sometimes and weekend work still comes with the job last time I checked." She paused and then chuckled, "I'm kidding Tom, I was visiting a friend at HQ when your request came in and I volunteered. I wasn't about to pass up the chance to meet Admiral Janeway in person."

Tom laughed, "you actually had me there Beverley, I must be loosing my touch." He led her into the bedroom to see that Kathryn was sitting on the edge of her bed and Chakotay and her were struggling to remove her jacket. Respectfully, he remained in the doorway and said "Admiral Janeway, Commander Chakotay, meet Dr Beverley Crusher." With that he turned and headed quickly back to the lounge. "Just shout if you need anything, not that I'm much of a nurse."

Chakotay stood up as Beverley approached Kathryn and sat on a chair next to the bed. Putting her medkit down, she smiled warmly, "It really is an honour to meet you Admiral even under these circumstances."

"Thank you, but please call me Kathryn and the honour is mine Doctor, or do you prefer Commander?"

"I'd prefer Beverley, Kathryn; if you would take some immediate advice, please stop struggling with that until I've had a chance to assess your injury."

Defeated, she stopped, "of course, sorry. I'm making no progress and it hurts like hell."

Shaking Chakotay's hand, Beverley smiled "Commander Chakotay, likewise, it's a real pleasure.

He smiled back at her, "thank you for coming, we really appreciate your time."

Beverley ran her tricorder over Kathryn's shoulder. "Any other injuries?"

"No, not unless you include my pride, it wasn't exactly elegant."

Beverley smiled, "I've seen worse. Unfortunately you've done some damage here, I'm afraid it's more than a muscle strain. You've torn your rotator cuff. In layman's terms that means you've damaged the tendons connecting the muscles in the top of your arm to your shoulder. You've found that you can't lift or rotate this arm as normal I presume?"

Kathryn nodded, grimacing.

"I'm going to give you something for the pain before I do a thorough examination. "There's a significant amount of swelling and bruising, do you have any ice packs in your freezer?"

"Yes, Chakotay knows where it is."

As he left, Kathryn felt the hypospray against her neck and the pain dulled shortly after. "Let's start by getting you more comfortable." Between them, they managed to get her jacket off, but decided to cut her under top as trying to remove it caused too much pain. Beverley helped Kathryn further onto her bed and placed a multitude of pillows behind her. "How's that?"

"Better thanks, I'm starting to feel slightly woozy though."

"That will be a combination of the painkiller and some delayed shock. You'll need to take it easy this afternoon."

Beverley ran her hand around Kathryn's shoulder and gently manipulated her arm. Covering her with a robe as Chakotay backed into the room. "It's alright Commander, she's decent. Can you also replicate me a type four sling please?"

"I can use a Dermal regenerator to stimulate healing and start to repair the tear, but it will need at least another two treatments and you'll have to rest your shoulder until it's completely healed. I'll prescribe you some painkillers and you might need a short course of physical therapy afterwards.

"Thanks. Are you happy to take some pictures to include in your report? I trust Admiral Hayes spoke to you?" "He did, and that's no problem." She heard a hint of warning creep in Beverley's tone. "Although, if you publicise this, you know that it could potentially open you up, personally, to media scrutiny?"

"I do, and it's something I've considered carefully, but I think on balance it's worth it. I just can't let the press take him apart Beverly, after all he's done for me and for our crew, it wouldn't be fair."

Beverley nodded, "I understand. I've not been fully briefed, but it seems like much of what the media is reporting is speculative." Kathryn nodded. "It is. Chakotay would be the first to admit that he didn't make the best choices that evening, but apart from defending himself, he didn't do anything that deserves to leave his reputation in tatters."

"Is he coping? If he needs someone to talk to, I know a couple of good counsellors I could recommend".

"Thanks, I'll talk to him and let him know, he seems to be doing much better, or at least he was, until all this today." She sighed and Beverley began to run a regenerator back and forth over the injured area of her shoulder slowly.

Chakotay returned with the sling. "How's the patient Doctor?"

"She will need two more treatments, but then she'll hopefully be as good as new. Don't let her do anything much this afternoon except rest and until that shoulder is better, she won't be able to lift anything with that arm."

Chakotay nodded and stood by the bed. "I'm glad to hear it and thanks again."

"A pleasure, it's been so nice to meet all of you. Everyone at HQ thinks of you as extended family, we're all so thrilled to have you back."

"If you can stay a while, Tom's making coffee."

"An offer I hate to turn down, but I'm on a transport to visit Wesley in an hour and I have to go home and pack, so can I rain-check?"

"Absolutely, it would be lovely to have lunch."

"Perfect, I'll be in touch."

.

After Beverley had gone, Chakotay sat with Kathryn for a while. As they sipped their coffee, he spoke.

"Thank you for doing this Kathryn."

"It's nothing you wouldn't do for me."

"True, but you wouldn't have got yourself into this situation in the first place."

"Maybe not. But I made some choices on Voyager that I regret and you bailed me out. Remember Noah Lessing? That was far from my finest hour. I seem to remember treating you badly, when instead I needed your counsel then."

He thought for a bit, "just as I should have sought yours over my sister."

"How was it speaking to her this morning?"

"Good, she's really excited about the trip and in fact, she asked if I wanted to bring a plus one."

"She did? Thats very generous with a new baby in the house. Do you have anyone in mind?"

"As a matter of fact, I wondered if you would like to join me? Trebus is lovely at this time of year, and I'm sure you could manage to carry your case with your good arm." She reached over with that good arm, grabbed a cushion from the bed and took a swipe at him with it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight - Damage limitation**

**.**

The following morning, they discussed their meeting with Admiral Hayes over breakfast.

"Is is scheduled for 0900 hours or 0930?"

He looked at his watch "0900"

"Damn, I need to get a move on, things take so much longer one-handed."

Chakotay smiled at her "will you let me cut that egg up now? I don't think I can watch you chase it around your plate any longer."

"Okay, but only because I don't want to keep Admiral Hayes waiting." She relinquished her knife and fork reluctantly.

He started to cut, "You know, this reminds me….." "

Of what a horrible patient I am?" He nodded. "You took the words right out of my mouth."

.

She arrived at Starfleet HQ at 0859. She would have normally hurried up to Admiral Hayes' office, but she reasoned that should she trip again either she'd injure the other arm or fall flat on her face, neither of which was an appealing prospect. So instead, she strolled casually, as if she didn't have less than a minute to get there. Admiral Hayes was waiting at his door to greet her.

'Kathryn, are you sure you're fit to be here? I read Dr Crusher's report and if memory serves me correctly, it advices a week of rest." He looked concerned.

"I can assure you that I'm fine Sir, I think she was referring to my shoulder, which is having an enforced rest, as you can see."

"Well alright, but let me know if you want to go home, we can always finish this via the Comm."

She sat in the remaining empty chair in his office. Chakotay had transported in earlier and was already seated, Lieutenant Commander Reed from PR and Admiral Willows, head of Personnel completed the table. It was Lieutenant Reed who spoke first "Before we officially begin this meeting, I want to inform you all that any records will be restricted to staff with level 9 clearance and above. This is due to the sensitive nature of the subject matter."

Chakotay had been dreading this meeting ever since he knew that it was inevitable. As if it wasn't bad enough that his close friends knew about the lack of self-control he had exercised that night, now they would have to discuss it in front of half of Starfleet. He had agreed to it as although he was not currently a serving officer, he was still very much linked to the organisation, both because of his previous role on Voyager and also through his Academy post. Kathryn was the other reason that he was here, she was putting her reputation on the line and they all knew it. He didn't want to see this ruin her career, so he recognised the need for it to be carefully managed.

"I'd like to begin by establishing the facts. There is almost no paperwork trail from the evening in question which is why the media have little factual information. If you would Commander Chakotay, could you tell us in your own words what happened?"

Chakotay recounted the carefully prepared statement that he and Kathryn had rehearsed the previous evening. It was honest and to the point and he hoped it painted him as well as he could be, under the circumstances.

.

"After he had finished, Lieutenant Reed began her list of questions. "So how long were you at the bar?"

_"I arrived at 2000 hours at left at 2200 hours."_

"And you were alone the entire time?" _"I was."_

"And you said that you consumed five beers in that time."

_"Yes and two glasses of mineral water."_

"I see, would you say that you were inebriated?" _"No, I would not."_

"So would you say your actions were that of a sober man?"

_Chakotay suppressed a sigh. "Yes, although I had consumed some alcohol, I don't believe that led directly to the incident in question."_

"And I believe the police statement implies that the Commander's sobriety was not in question." Kathryn interjected with as factual tone as she could manage.

'Indeed, and how would you describe your mental state?"

"I think we should be wary of that line of questioning Lieutenant" Admiral Hayes cut in before Kathryn could. "The Commander's mental state was not in question either."

"Yes Sir. So Commander, exactly how would you describe your actions?"

_"As self-defence. The man in question had some issues about my past role in the Maquis and having had a quantity to drink…."_

"More than yourself?"

"_Yes, I believe a deal more so. __He then became aggressive. He made some derogatory comments about a friend of mine and then started to be physically aggressive, pushing and shouting at me."_

"And you did not respond at first?"

_"No. I did not respond until he threw a punch at me."_

"And then how exactly did you respond?"

Chakotay paused. _ "I hit him, once."_

"I see, you chose not to use your Starfleet de-escalation or control and restraint training?"

_"I did. It was an error and I accept that."_

"Commander is it true that you have a background in boxing?"

_"Yes, I trained at the Academy."_

"And is it true that with your superior skills, you could in fact have killed this man?"

"I think that is speculative and unhelpful at best Lieutenant" Admiral Hayes was holding his hand up at Kathryn to stop her jumping up from her chair.

_"It is true that I was aware that I could have hurt him, yes. But I chose a single punch to disable him in that instance."_

"Did you react in anger, after he had insulted someone whom you care a great deal about?" Admiral Willow's quiet question took Chakotay slightly by surprise and he felt his heart rate increase.

_"I felt that his comments were unjust and as they were about a good friend of mine, if I'm honest, they certainly did nothing to reduce my reaction."_

"He pushed your buttons?"

_"He did and I regret my lack of self control." _

"I don't think your regret is in question Commander, we all realise that you regret the incident." Admiral Hayes was on hand again.

Lieutenant Reed started again. "Is it true these comments were about Admiral Janeway?"

_"It is"_

"And could you describe them for us?"

"_I would rather not, they were crude and of a personal nature." _He could see Kathryn's cheeks flush slightly.

"I see. Is it true that you were escorted to the downtown Police Station?" "_It is_"

"And that you were there from approximately 2300 hours until 0230 hours?". _"I was"_

"Were you interviewed or cautioned?" _"No, I was not"_

"Was an official statement taken?" _"No it was not."_

"So in what capacity where you there?" _"As a witness."_

_"_A witness to what?"

_"To the incident, I believe the police records indicate that they investigated and decided no further action was required."_

_"_Do you know of any reason that charges were not pressed?"

_"I believe the Police decided that no crime had been committed."_

_"_I see. Commander did you speak to anyone while you were at the police station?"

_"Only the duty Sergeant."_

_"_No-one from Voyager or Starfleet visited you? "_No they did not."_

_"_And at what time were you released?" "_0230 hours."_

_"_Commander, who collected you?" Admiral Willows had a knack of asking the innocent and yet most difficult questions Chakotay decided.

"I did." Kathryn spoke carefully.

"Admiral Janeway, can I be so bold as to ask the nature of your relationship with Commander Chakotay?" Lieutenant Reed was quick to run with the theme.

"Certainly." She smiled as she looked over at him. "We are good friends and as his former Commanding Officer, I was contacted by Lieutenant Thomas Paris."

"And you decided to go and collect him in person? At 0200 hours?" "Yes I did."

"Can I ask why you didn't send Lieutenant Paris on your behalf?"

"They have a young baby at home and I thought their sleep was disturbed enough."

Admiral Willows smiled at this. "Thank you Admiral. Your candour is appreciated."

Lieutenant Reed was not so easily satisfied. "Commander, have you and Admiral Janeway ever been in a romantic relationship?"

"_No, we have not."_

"Not in the seven years that you were on board Voyager together?"

_"No." _Chakotay braced himself for her next question and almost felt Kathryn do the same.

"And do you see yourself ever being in a romantic relationship with Admiral Janeway?"

"Lieutenant I don't think…" began Admiral Hayes, but Chakotay interrupted.

"_That's okay Sir, I'll answer the question. It's one we know the press may ask after all."_

Admiral Hayes raised his eyebrows but said nothing more.

"_Admiral Janeway and I have a very close friendship. We have never been and are not currently in a romantic relationship as I have previously stated. We do not however, posses a crystal ball. The future is an unknown chapter to us and therefore, it is impossible for us to comment on pure possibility."_

"Thank you Commander. Where do you currently live?"

Chakotay was beginning to tire of Lieutenant Reed and he tried his best not to let his face show it. "_I currently live in the staff accommodation at Starfleet Academy."_

_"_You do not live with Admiral Janeway?"

_"No, I do not and I have never lived with Admiral Janeway ."_

"You have visited her apartment though?" _"I have."_

_"_How many times would you say…"

Admiral Hayes had had enough. "I think we'll end it there Lieutenant. We've kept the Commander long enough and if I'm not mistaken Admiral Janeway is looking a little uncomfortable following that shoulder injury. I suggest you prepare the official statement, I'll review the draft as soon as its ready."

"Yes Sir." She left his office and the other three occupants sighed with relief. Chakotay rose to his feet. "I'll do the coffee run."

.

Admiral Willows smiled at Kathryn. "I think that went well, it's a fairly watertight story and his answers came across as honest and straightforward. I can't see it leading the media anywhere."

Kathryn smiled back, relieved. "Thank you, that means a lot. It is all the truth, there was never any manipulation or…"

"I know Admiral; you're not on trial here. This must be difficult, balancing your promising career and your reputation at the same as helping a loyal friend. We can appreciate that."

Kathryn smiled, unsure of the correct response. Admiral Willows stood to leave, "drop in for coffee one afternoon, my office is at the other end of the corridor.' Kathryn nodded. "I will, thanks."

As the door hissed behind her, Admiral Hayes turned to Kathryn, "she's a good egg, Willows, you could do with her as a friend."

"I can see that. How long will Reed take with the statement do you think?"

"I'm not sure, but you'll be the second person to see it, I'll mail it across to you. I wasn't entirely bluffing about that shoulder. Enjoy your coffee and then head home."

.

Chakotay had dropped her coffee off and decided to head out to meet Tom for lunch. He had invited her to join them, but had she decided to finish a few bits in her office and head home for a long, hot bath. In truth, one question still haunted her though. Admiral Willows had stopped short of asking it, but she knew that if the press asked where Chakotay had gone from the police station, they would be in trouble. No-one would believe that he spent the night in her guest bedroom and she was fairly sure it would discredit everything else in their statement. It has been a serious mistake she realised, and one that could jeopardise the whole situation. If only she had thought to drop him off first, he could have transported to hers later and no-one would be any the wiser. Now it would look like she had manipulated the situation because they were a couple and were trying to cover it up. Someone would ask, she thought and they would have to think of something, but she had no idea what. With this running over and over in her mind she gave up on getting anything done and decided to head home.

She passed Admiral Willows' office on her way to the lifts and saw that her door was open. As she looked in, the Admiral looked up and smiled.

"Kathryn, time for more coffee already?"

Kathryn smiled, there was something about Admiral Willows that she instinctively trusted, although she didn't know why. She was a little older than Kathryn, perhaps around her mid forties. She had a pale complexion and honey coloured hair, cut into a bob that sat just on her shoulders. Her eyes were a blue-grey and looked at you in a way that conveyed her kindness, but her questions in Admiral Hayes' office had revealed that she was intelligent and discerning. Kathryn hesitated. "I was just heading home…."

"But there's something you need to get straight first?" She gestured to a chair and Kathryn sat gratefully. "Yes, there is."

"So try me."

She took a deep breath and opted for total honesty. "There was a question in the briefing that wasn't asked."

"I see. And you're worried that the media will ask it? And that you don't have a satisfactory explanation, or not one that you want to share?"

That was exactly it, Kathryn thought, it was almost as if the woman could read her mind. She nodded. "You asked who collected Chakotay from the police station."

"I did."

"But you didn't ask the next logical question."

"No Kathryn, I didn't have to."

Oh God, she already knew Kathryn thought. It was that obvious, the woman must think she was a total idiot and possibly a liar too and now she was about to embarrass herself to boot.

Admiral Willow poured her a glass of water from a jug on her desk before she spoke again. "I think you are correct Kathryn. I think that someone may ask, but I don't think you have anything to worry about. Kathryn looked up, trying to stop her voice betraying her doubts. "Really?"

She nodded, "do you recall the name of the duty Sergeant that night?"

"Yes, it was Sergeant Lindon, why?"

"And I'm presuming that you had the good sense to accept his offer of a 'taxi' home?"

"Yes, I…..We did."

"Good, then I know you have nothing to worry about."

She felt reassured, but not satisfied, by this explanation. Admiral Willows leaned across the desk. "Let's just say that 'taxi' is completely untraceable and the driver has never broken a confidence. He has helped many a Starfleet Officer make an unofficial journey for a good cause. If you want to infer that you went back to your apartment via Commander Chakotay's accommodation first, no-one will be ever be any the wiser and that's if the question ever comes up."

"But it would be a lie."

She paused. "It would. But a tiny droplet of a lie, in an ocean otherwise full of truth? I get the impression that you and Chakotay stuck to your principles regarding your relationship while you were commanding Voyager? That must have been at quite a cost over the last seven years. You could always decide to let yourself off, this once."

In her smile, Kathryn tried to convey the mixture of gratitude and relief she felt towards the woman sitting opposite her. This was how it felt to have the weight of the world lifted from your shoulders she thought. One small thing ignited her curiosity though and she braved the question.

"Can I ask…do you know this driver Admiral?"

Admiral Willows smiled a rather lovely smile. "Not personally. But I'm married to his boss and he's not let us down in the last fifteen years. Now if I were you, I'd head home before you discover any more of my secrets Kathryn."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine - Friends**

**.**

After just short of 12 hours camped outside Kathryn's apartment the press had quickly come to the conclusion that she was not going to give them a statement of any kind and she figured that there were only so many photos of her coming in and out of her front door that they could want. With the Starfleet press release scheduled for this evening she was sure that media interest would peak again, so for now Chakotay was still using the transporter. Arriving home, shopping and briefcase in her right hand, she automatically switched them to her left to enter her door code. A jolt of pain through her shoulder, made her drop both the bags on her foot and as she bent down to retrieve them, her front door opened and she very nearly fell forwards through it.

Tom Paris opened Kathryn's front door to find her crouched on the front step, chasing after an onion that had escaped from the shopping bag. Surprised, he almost caught her as well as the onion. She looked up at him. "Tom, I wasn't expecting you."

"I can see that, what were you trying to do, prepare dinner out here?"

"Hilarious Tom, I dropped the shopping."

"You forgot again didn't you?" She scowled, but there was a hint of embarrassment in her eyes. "I might have." He sighed, picked up the rest of the shopping and the briefcase and extended his hand. "I told you to just keep the sling on all the time, then you would remember and your shoulder would have probably been better by now. She stayed silent, not wanting to give him further cause to scold her. "Luckily I always travel to yours with my medkit so I'll repair the damage, if you promise to let Chakotay cook."

Upstairs he deposited the shopping in the kitchen and fetched his kit. B'Elanna had Miral balanced on one hip. "Again Kathryn, seriously? Sometimes, I don't know how you ever ran a Starship."

A voice called from the kitchen area. "That's easy, she had her very capable First Officer remember all the details." Chakotay smiled as Kathryn scowled at all of them and then broke into a grin.

Sighing, she sat down and eased off her jacket. Tom picked up his tricorder and scanned. "When is your next session with Beverly?"

"Tomorrow, she said that if it's healing well, I'm just supposed to rest it for another week and then start on the exercises she gave me."

"Mmm, you were lucky, no more tendon damage, just a small muscle tear, but it looks inflamed. He held up a hypospray. "May I?" She nodded and after administering the dose, he ran a regenerator over the injured tissue.

"There, all better, but please wear the sling." He handed it to her with his best glare. Knowing she was beaten, she slipped it over her head and on again without argument.

Changing the subject was a priority she thought. "What time is the press release scheduled?"

"2100 hours, what time does Admiral Hayes want you back at HQ?"

"About 30 minutes before." He and Admiral Willows were staying at HQ to go over it word by word again, but Kathryn was sick of reading it and had decided to come home for dinner first.

"That gives me plenty of time to make the chilli, Kathryn, did you manage to get an onion?"

"Here". Tom threw the onion over Kathryn's head into the kitchen where Chakotay caught it. He raised his eyebrows "Don't ask."

.

They all enjoyed the meal, Miral even sat happily with Chakotay while Tom and B'Elanna ate. "So are you taking questions afterwards?" B'Elanna asked Kathryn.

"Mmm, I think so. Admiral Hayes wants to clear everything up in one go, that's the bit I'm most apprehensive about. Starfleet have agreed to a small number of authorised reporters, so at least it won't be a scrum like on Sunday."

"And why didn't they want Chakotay with you? This is about him too, after all"

"After deliberation, the PR people think that it's too soon for us to be seen together. After the statement is read, they think that our idea to divert the media away from Chakotay will play out better if he's not there."

"Well, I suppose you can't argue with the logic of that." Tom passed Miral back to Chakotay. "Do you want me there for moral support? B'Elanna has to feed Miral, otherwise we'd both come."

"Thanks Tom, but I think you'd be more useful here." She glanced over at Chakotay who was walking a tired Miral up and down by the window. "I have a friend in Admiral Willows and she said we would share a transport home afterwards."

He smiled "good, just don't forget to..."

"Wear the sling, I know."

.

Fifteen minutes before the press release, Kathryn was touching up her lipstick in her office. Straightening her uniform, she looked in the mirror. Not bad, she thought to herself. Admiral Hayes appeared at her door. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." She smiled as they headed towards Admiral Willows' office and then onto the briefing room.

Her first thought was that it appeared very civilised compared to the last time she had met the media. Five journalists and three cameramen awaited them, sat neatly on a row of chairs. A lectern was set up with the Starfleet logo in the background and Admiral Hayes took centre stage to read the statement with herself and Admiral Willows on either side. Admiral Hayes announced that after the statement, they would be taking questions if necessary and that this was to be the one and only statement about what Starfleet felt was a matter already resolved.

The lead cameraman gave them a silent countdown from five and then they were live on air.

"...and in conclusion, Starfleet would like to reiterate that it strongly feels that the private lives of its staff should be just that and not subject to unfounded speculation. Thank you. Now are there any questions?"

"John Cannon, CNN. My question is for Admiral Janeway."

And so it begins, she thought and smiled at him. "Do you stand by the statement that you and Commander Chakotay are simply good friends?"

"_Yes, I do." _

"And do you think that it is appropriate for a Starfleet Vice Admiral to visit a police station at 2 a.m to collect a friend?"

"_I do, although in this case I was also there in my capacity as his former CO."_

"Barbara Fox, News 24. Admiral Janeway, is it true that Commander Chakotay was in a relationship with a member of your crew?"

"_I believe that shortly before we returned to Earth, there was a brief relationship which is now over._"

"So he is single now?"

"_As far as I am aware, but you would have to ask him that."_

"Martin May, On Fire TV. Admiral Janeway, is it true that when you collected Commander Chakotay from the police station you spoke to the duty Sergeant?"

"_Yes, I did briefly."_

"Do you deny that you orchestrated Commander Chakotay's release to avoid embarrassment for the Voyager crew?"

She feot her jaw tighten. "_I do vehemently. As you will see from the police report, I arrived at the police station at 0215 and the Commander's release paperwork was started at 0206, before I arrive_d."

He met her gaze. "Only nine minutes before Admiral, enough time to place a call." She knew what he was inferring. "_By all means, feel free to check the Comm records, there was no call."_

Barbara Fox again. "Admiral Janeway, do you agree with Commander Chakotay's actions that night?"

"_I think that Commander Chakotay and I both agree that he made an error in judgement that evening. He should have used his Starfleet training rather than his boxing skills."_

"Do you wish to comment on the rumour that the man who instigated the fight, called you a whore and a Borg collaborator?" Kathryn blanched for a second, totally taken aback by this language. She fought to keep her voice even. "_I do not wish to comment __on that, no."_

Joe Carter, SBN "Do you know where Commander Chakotay is currently?" Her heart thumped in her chest, another rookie error she thought.

"_I do, we had dinner with some mutual friends earlier." "At a restaurant?" "No at my apartment" _

"And is he still there?"

"_As far as I'm aware, all my guests are still there, yes."_

"Can I ask why you chose not to go to a restaurant?" She thought on her feet.

"_The last time I went to a restaurant, I ended up with this,_" she gestured towards her shoulder, "_so you'll forgive me for being a little wary of public places at the moment."_

"Martin May again. Was one of your dinner guests Seven of Nine?" "_No."_ "Would you comment on the rumour that she was the reason that Commander Chakotay was drinking in the bar that night and the reason that your friendship has appeared strained since your return from the Delta Quadrant?" This was getting a little close to the bone Kathryn felt and she paused briefly.

"_As a rule I don't like to comment on rumours, so no, thank you. But I will say this, it is this kind of media intrusion into the former crew of Voyager's personal lives that I find unpalatable and unwelcome."_

"Lisa Cole also CNN. Admiral Janeway, is it true that you were having lunch with Commander Chakotay last Sunday?"

"_He was one of the party I was with yes."_

"And is it true that he returned to your apartment after that lunch?"

Damn she thought, they were being followed. "_Yes, it is._"

"Could you tell us why he returned to your apartment instead of going to Starfleet HQ?" Admiral Hayes stepped in before she could answer.

"I advised him not to come into HQ at that point. I think that we are nearing the end of this session, so if there are no more urgent questions..." Admiral Hayes was keen to bring this to a conclusion.

"Joe Carter finally. I find it unusual Admiral that you expect us to believe that you are telling the truth about the events that occurred on the evening in question, given that it appears that you have spent most of the last week with Commander Chakotay, possibly the entire week if we chose to believe the rumour that he has in fact, been staying at your apartment."

Kathryn froze, blindsided, all words failing her.

"Excuse me, but I didn't hear the question." Admiral Willows calmly interjected. "Were you asking if Commander Chakotay is in a relationship with Admiral Janeway? Because if so, that question has already been answered."

"I'm asking if we can believe anything Admiral Janeway has said, including her assertion that she didn't orchestrate the Commander's release from Police custody, given the close nature of their friendship." Admiral Willows smiled. "First a correction if I may Mr Carter?"

"Sure".

"Commander Chakotay was not in Police custody that evening, he was at the station as a witness, a fact the police report clearly states." He shrugged.

"Have you never helped a friend Mr Carter?"

"I'm sorry, I don't see..."

"Im asking if you would help a good friend if they needed it?" "Yes obviously but..."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that. Admiral Janeway and Commander Chakotay worked together on a daily basis for seven years. They overcame enormous obstacles to bring the Voyager crew back home safely. For which many of our Starfleet families are extremely, profoundly grateful. There has been no secret made of the fact that Commander Chakotay has been unable to see his sister since he returned and that she is the only family he has left. This understandably, has been difficult for him and he has turned to his friends for support. I find nothing unusual about that, in fact I think it quite admirable and I refute the suggestion that it compromises Admiral Janeway's integrity."

.

"Thank you ladies and gentlemen, we will end it there." The hot camera lights faded and Kathryn, still in shock over the last question, felt Admiral Willows take her by the arm and lead her down a corridor into an empty office. She found that the effort of putting one shaky foot in front of the other took all of her energy.

She was guided into a chair and a glass of water placed into her hand. Watching it tremble, Kathryn realised that she hadn't bargained on the questions being so personal. "Drink it Kathryn, you'll feel better.".

A gentle voice coaxed her back to reality and she did as she was told. As things became clearer, she realised that both her head and her shoulder were throbbing, probably from all the tension she thought finally exhaling. Admiral Willows smiled at her. "It's all over Kathryn, you answered superbly. It was tough and you held your nerve."

"Thanks...I"

"It's okay, just take a moment, I'm going to get our things from upstairs and then we can go. There's no need to say anymore."

Alone, Kathryn thanked her lucky stars for her new friend, who had rescued her for the second time in as many days. When they reached her apartment, Admiral Willows declined the offer of coffee saying that she would love to stay another time. She waited until Kathryn had closed the door behind her until she allowed her driver to go on.

Kathryn climbed the stairs wearily, to find the lounge empty, the place seemed quiet and she wondered when Tom and B'Elanna had gone home. Chakotay padded out from the corridor in his bare feet. "Kathryn, I'm glad you're home." He gave her a gentle hug and they sat down on the sofa. He held up a hypospray. "Tom said that he could see a headache developing from the way you held yourself, so he left this to relieve the tension in your neck. He said it would help with the pain in your shoulder too. Miral was tired so they had to leave early."

She stretched her neck. "Mr Paris is getting a little too good at reading me, I'm obviously spending too much time around him. He chuckled, "so how is your head?"

She leant back against the cushions and closed her eyes. "It's killing me" she admitted, pinching the bridge of her nose. "That was harder than I thought."

"If it's any consolation, you made it look easy." Chakotay stood to administer the pain reliever and then rubbed her uninjured shoulder gently.

"How did it play out on screen?"

"Very well. You came across as honest and loyal.

She smiled, "thanks for the complement. Did you see me start when he asked about those personal comments?"

He hesitated, "I noticed, but I think that's only because I know you so well. I'm sorry you had to hear that from a reporter, I was trying to avoid you having to hear it at all."

"I know and I appreciate that. Although I am beginning to understand a little more why you hit him"

He looked down, a little embarrassed. "Do you think it was a lucky guess or do you think that last reporter knew I was staying here?"

"I don't know, we've been very careful, only Tom and B'Elanna and a couple of the old Voyager crew know, and they would never tell the media. Thank god Admiral Willows was there."

"Yes, I can see why you would want her as a friend."

"You don't know the half of it Chakotay." She proceeded to tell him what she had learned from her previous meeting with Admiral Willows, all about their 'taxi' that night and how she had just about carried her off the stage after the briefing. He exhaled. "We're so lucky that we've got such kind people looking out for us."

"I know, I don't feel we deserve it do you?"

"No, it's been a humbling experience, truly."

"Coffee? "I thought you'd never ask." He looked at his watch. "You know, you should try to wean yourself onto decaf, this late in the evening at least."

She shook her head. "Let me get over today first Chakotay, one thing at a time."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten - Possibilities**

**.**

"I'm sorry Chakotay, did you think she'd come?"

"No, but it's okay B'Elanna. I've got my best friend back and you know Kathryn. I'm not giving up, I'll see her next month when I get back." He hugged her tightly.

"Have a fantastic trip Chakotay, give my love to Sekaya and I want pictures of that baby." She waved at him until he was out of sight.

**12 hours earlier...**

**.**

Kathryn was at Starfleet HQ, medical wing Trying to sit still while Beverley ran a Tricorder around her shoulder. "Mmm, it's still a little inflamed, although the tendon damage is very nearly healed. Have you been wearing the sling?"

Would she never get away with anything? Kathryn wondered. "Most of the time, and Tom has already taken me to task over that Beverley."

"I see." She smiled. "Well, I think that's the last treatment you will need, provided you can follow Mr Paris' excellent advice that is." She helped Kathryn on with her jacket. "I saw the press release. Some of those questions were tough, I thought you handled it well."

"Thanks, although I'm not so sure, that last question really threw me."

"I can see why, it got very personal."

"Do you think it did the job?"

"I think only time will tell to be honest, Admiral Hayes seem to think that the headlines were good."

"How's Chakotay?"

"He's doing better. He's heading to Trebus today to spend the next three weeks with his sister."

"That's good. She hesitated, "And you two? If that's not an inappropriate question?"

kathryn placed her hand on her hip. "It's a complicated one. We've got our friendship back on track and that's the most important thing for the moment, with everything that has happened, we've both decided to take some time." Beverley smiled a little mischeviously, "that sounds like a good idea, once you've crossed that line you can never go back, although I can highly recommend a relationship with a man of his caliber and he is gorgeous.

Kathryn mulled over Beverley's final statement as she walked back to her office. It was true she thought and she didn't want any regrets and that's what she'd told for the last seven years, but... Her train of thought was interrupted by a reminder on her PADD informing her that she had an 11 o'clock meeting with Admirals Hayes and Willows. It was at the insistence of Lieutenant Reed who wanted to review the PR 'situation' as she had termed it. Kathryn didn't like the phrase, she was hoping that there no longer was a 'situation.' She grabbed her coffee as she passed her own office, noting with a sigh the new pile of a PADDs on her desk that she was sure weren't there the evening before. She was the first to arrive and Admiral Hayes gestured for her to sit.

.

"Morning Kathryn, did you see my mail?"

"No Sir, sorry, I've come straight from medical."

"Admiral Willows is working from home today, so it will be just the three of us." Kathryn sighed inwardly as Lieutenant Reed strode into the room. The three of them sat around the table and as Kathryn sipped her coffee, the Lieutenant started to speak.

"Overall, I think the Q&amp;A after the press release went well. Obviously, there were some regrettably personal questions and for that I apologise Admiral." Kathryn softened her expression and nodded slightly to acknowledge the Lieutenant's apology. "The major networks have all chosen to tone down the story with the exception of SBN who are running a far fetched story that alleges that Commander Chakotay and Seven of Nine are having a child together." Kathryn couldn't help but roll her eyes. "On Fire TV are leading with a headline asking other media organisations not to subject Voyager crew to what they are terming unhelpful and unpalatable scrutiny based on conjecture."

Admiral Hayes smiled, "It's good to have at least a portion of them on our side. Thank you Lieutenant, your update is appreciated. Dismissed."

"Thanks for sticking your neck out Kathryn.

"Sir. It's nothing I wouldn't do for any member of my crew."

"I know." He paused, "talking of your crew I heard that Commander Chakotay is off to Trebus today."

"He is."

"And are you taking any leave?"

"No Sir, I hadn't planned on it."

"Are you sure?"

Kathryn was bemused. "Yes, I'm planning a trip away later in the year, but thank you." Leaving his office she felt confused. Had she booked leave and forgotten to cancel it? She made a mental note to check her calendar.

Admiral Hayes shook his head, maybe he had been too subtle, but he thought not. She hadn't taken his hint, maybe he'd have to try another approach. He opened a Comm channel.

.

Chakotay stepped off the shuttle and filled his lungs with the fresh air. He could almost feel his inner peace restored with each breath. Picking his large canvas bag up from the floor and slinging it over his shoulder, he started to walk to his sister's place. He hadn't exaggerated when he had told Kathryn that it was beautiful at this time of year, at any time of year. The environment was still relatively unspoilt. His sister lived in a settlement just over 3 kilometres from the shuttle drop off point on the other side of a woodland. He looked at the densely planted pine trees either side of the familiar track as he walked towards her home. A variety of ferns and creepers with tiny yellow and white flowers edged the soft path. A carpet of rich dark green moss was thriving close to the forest floor, its rich damp, earthy smell enriching the air. He could see and hear life everywhere around him, the countless shades of green, the bees, insects, beetles and the birds overhead. It was all glorious. Whether it was because he had been away for so long or because he was so looking forward to seeing his sister, but the sky seemed an even brighter blue than the last time he was here and he struggled to find a single cloud. As he walked he silently thanked the spirits that they had made it back and that he was once again able to visit this beautiful place.

Sekaya was standing on the porch waiting for him. He walked straight over to her without saying anything and placing both his arms around her, he held her tightly. They stood in a silent embrace for a long while, her face against his chest and his chin resting on the top of her head. He could feel that she was crying and so he waited for her to step back. When she did, he took both his thumbs and gently wiped away her tears, kissing her forehead. She reached up and held his face in her hands for a moment before wiping away his. He smiled at her. "It's so good to be back." She smiled through fresh tears, "come inside and meet your niece."

Later that afternoon, he sat on a chair in her lounge, his tiny niece asleep on his chest. She was beautiful he decided, although he was biased. Her tiny features relaxed in slumber, he gazed at her mop of dark hair and long eyelashes. Tiny fingers curled around the blanket she was wrapped in and her gentle, regular breathing fascinated him. If he concentrated, he thought he could feel the rapid beat of her heart against him. He was in love with this tiny creature he had only met a couple of hours ago. Occasionally she gave a tiny sigh and kicked her lips, perhaps contentedly dreaming of her next feed he thought.

Resting his head back comfortably, he took in the room around him. It was the main living room of his sister's house, with timber walls, exposed ceiling beams and a solid wooden floor. It had an authentic log cabin feel to it, although Sekaya had told him that modern technology had helped insulate and weather proof it. A square charcoal black fireplace was set in the chimney which was built of local stone. The chimney breast itself stretched the entire height of the room, starting to taper off as it reached the ceiling. Either side of the fireplace were windows of a simple lattice design, underneath which were window benches with red and amber striped cushions extending to meet the walls. Two chairs faced the fire, with a sofa along one wall. Opposite the sofa on the other side of the room, there were glass doors out to the garden and behind him was the kitchen he had yet to see. It was furnished in his sister's simple, but warm style and as he stretched his legs out, his gaze was drawn down to a beautiful rug. It was hand woven, in a traditional Navajo style with flattened diamond shapes interlocking horizontally. Each diamond had within it another and another, the central ones were deep maroon with burnt orange edges, the outer were red and white with black around the edges. Some were bordered with a sky blue and others with a rich teal that made him think fleetingly of Kathryn's wall. He pushed that thought out of his mind as his sister approached with a steaming mug of tea. "Here, I'll put her in the crib so you can have this." He reluctantly relinquished the warm bundle and gazed into the fire.

.

At 7pm Kathryn heard her doorbell chime, jogging down the stairs she opened the door to find Admiral Willows. "I was hoping it wasn't too late for coffee?" She sounded apologetic.

"Surprised, but pleasantly so, she smiled. "When you get to know me better, you'll know it's never too late for coffee. Come on up. I'm sorry, I'm not dressed for company Admiral."

"Allison please, and I'm sorry to intrude on your evening."

"It's no intrusion at all, please take a seat, and I'll make the drinks." Instead of sitting, Allison followed her into the kitchen and leant comfortably against a cabinet.

"I'm not one for subterfuge Kathryn, so I'm going to be straightforward about why I'm here."

Kathryn turned around warily. "Why do I feel like I've been called into the Principal's office?"

"Far from it, actually it was me that was called in, although we are in agreement over this."

Walking into the lounge, they sat on the sofa and she continued. "I hope you won't think that I'm being too personal here, I don't want you to feel that I'm intruding. I know we've only just met, but I'd like to count you as a friend."

Kathryn smiled guardedly. "It would be a privilege, I'm really very grateful for everything you've done for me this last week."

Allison paused. "So, the reason I'm here, is to ask if you want to take a trip."

"Where?"

"To Trebus, to visit a friend."

Kathryn hadn't expected that. Of all the possibilities running through her mind, that simply wasn't one of them. She sat still, her mug in her hand while she tried to process what she had just heard. How did she, or they, if you counted Admiral Hayes, even know that Chakotay had asked her to go? She wasn't sure how she felt about this apparent ambush in her own home. While she tried to formulate a response, she placed her mug on the coffee table, stood up and walked over to the window. In the ensuing silence, Allison continued.

"I know this is highly unusual Kathryn. Admiral Hayes tried in his own way to test the water this morning." She nodded, remembering the conversation.

"So he sent you to...talk me into it? After all we went through last week with the media. Chakotay beaming in and out of here because Starfleet PR didn't even want us to be seen on the street together. And now you want me to go to Trebus and risk igniting the tinderbox? No offence Allison, but if I'd wanted to go with Chakotay, I could have just asked for the time off." She felt her heckles rise.

"You could have, but you wouldn't have."

Allison's voice was even, with a hint of kindness which Kathryn tried her hardest to ignore. "That's the point Kathryn, your loyalty to Starfleet and to Voyager means that you wouldn't have asked. I'm not here to persuade you, simply to tell you that you have the choice if it's what you want."

"And if I don't want to go? Do I have to offer an explanation? Write a report? This is my private life and you're right, it does feel like a further intrusion." Annoyed that she hadn't managed to contain her irritation, she sat abruptly back down on the sofa.

Allison leant forward and placed a hand on her arm. "I'm sorry if it feels that way, that was not my intention, please believe that. Whether you go or not, is entirely up to you. Your reasons are your own. No explanations necessary, no questions asked, no judgement made. We just want you to know the option is there." She paused. "Your integrity shines through, as does your passion for the welfare of your crew. We have seen that. And self-sacrifice is part of the job, we've all been there. But your happiness is important too."

Her mind calming, she looked towards the window. "You drew the short straw didn't you? There's no way Admiral Hayes would have come here, so he ordered you to."

"Actually, I volunteered as I think he was rather hoping I would. He wasn't looking forward to talking to you about it."

She smiled ruefully, "I can't think why."

Her attempt at humour broke the tension and she smiled at Allison despite herself. She grabbed a cushion and hugged it against her chest, her legs crossed underneath her.

"I'm assuming that this is totally off the record?"

"It is, but please don't feel that you owe me an explanation Kathryn. I don't presume to know anything about your friendship with Chakotay. I took a risk coming here and it might be best for me to head home to give you some time to think." She replaced her cup and smiled gently as she started to stand.

"Please don't go." Hearing her own words, she wondered if only now the broader picture was becoming clear. Allison was doing exactly what she had done for Chakotay, sticking her neck out to help a friend, the only difference was that she'd very nearly chopped her head off. She was relieved when she sat back down.

"I wouldn't have asked, you were right about that. And as much I would like to visit Trebus, it's too big a risk."

"But it _would_ make you happy?"

She thought. "It would, perhaps, I think."

Allison smiled, "then I'm forgiven?"

"Only if I am."

She reached into her bag and pulled out a PADD passing it over. "Let us worry about the risk Kathryn. You'll find leave authorisation, transportation and a watertight cover story." She smiled and raised her eyebrows. "Enjoy Costa Rica Admiral."

.

Early the following morning after dashing off a couple of mails, she opened her front door to find Sergeant Lindon's driver waiting for her once again. He lifted her case into the boot and opened the door for her. Before stepping into the car, she paused. "Thank you. For everything."

He smiled and nodded "a real pleasure Ma'am."

.

"Tom, did you hear back from Kathryn about lunch?"

"We arranged lunch?"

B'Elanna sighed, "Yes provisionally for today, I don't want her on her own the whole time Chakotay's away."

"No, I haven't spoken to her since Monday, did you check your mail?" Heading to the console, B'Elanna's eyes ran down the screen until she saw what she was looking for.

.

** To: BTorres**

** From: KJaneway**

** Hi Lana,**

** Thanks so much for the message re: lunch today. Can we re-arrange? ****I've decided to take a trip at short notice. I'll contact you when I get back.**

** Love to you all,**

** Kathryn x**

**.**

B'Elanna thought for a second. "Computer locate Admiral Janeway, authorisation Torres Alpha Sierra 2385." The computer chirped into life. _Admiral Janeway is in Costa Rica_.

A slow smile spread across B'Elanna's face.

.

**To:AdmiralHayes **

** From:ViceAdmiralJaneway**

** Sir, the thought was appreciated. Apparently Costa Rica is very lovely at this time ****of year. I'll see you in two weeks.**

** Regards,**

** Kathryn Janeway**

** Ps. You owe Admiral Willows a coffee.**

**.**

Chakotay yawned as sitting on his sister's porch, he looked out across over the forest. Sekaya joined him, brushing her long hair from her face into a ponytail. "She's asleep?" "Yes, apparently she's quite taken with her uncle." He smiled. They had stayed up most of the night talking, starting to catch up on all they had missed over the last seven years.

"I really can't believe you're back Chakotay." "Mmm, I know, it feels amazing."

"Can I take it that further space exploration isn't on your immediate agenda?"

"You can, I'm planning on keeping my feet on the ground for a long time."

They sat in silence. "Can I ask about Kathryn? You talked about her a lot in your letters. I was sad that she couldn't come with you." He sighed. "Me too, although I didn't think she would really, she's got so much on her plate at the moment. She dropped everything to help me last week, without her that one night might have ended my Starfleet career. She's always looking out for all of us."

"I get the feeling that's a big part of who she is. She sounds like a special person."

"She is, I'm hopeful you'll get to meet her soon."

"She'll always be welcome here Chakotay." He smiled. As she headed into the kitchen to start breakfast, Chakotay closed his eyes and allowed the mid morning sun to warm his face. It was so quiet and he wondered briefly if it was too early for a nap. His sister's voice interrupted this train of thought. "Porridge or pancakes?" He thought for a second. "Both." She laughed.

Turning back to the view, he started slightly when he saw what looked to be a figure in the distance on the path, heading in their direction. Lifting his hand to shield his eyes from the sunlight, he leaned forward in the chair. There was definitely a figure, and that figure appeared to be dragging a large case behind them. He stood up and walked to the edge of the porch, his stomach flipping as he recognised who it was. Sekaya appeared and stood just behind him.

"It looks like we have company for breakfast after all." She gave him a gentle shove. "Chakotay, go and help her."

He jumped the porch steps and walked briskly across the lawn breaking into a jog once on the path. She stopped walking when she saw him coming towards her, leaning against the case, one hand lightly on her hip. As he reached her, he realised he was grinning like a teenager and wrapping this arms around her waist, he gave her a huge hug that lifted her from her feet.

"You came."

"I did."

She tilted her head and smiled up at him. He noticed that she was slightly out of breath, presumably from dragging a case that was over half her height. He eyed it suspiciously. "Can I ask why you bought such a big bag?

She held up her right hand, "if I remember correctly, it was you who said that I needed to be able to carry all my luggage with my good arm."

Laughing as he took her hand in his, he picked up her case and together they headed back towards the house.


End file.
